


Of Narcolepsy and Insomnia

by NocturneProductions



Category: Death Note, Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Light Is Not Kira, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Light is a cinnamon roll that must be protected., M/M, Narcolepsy, Slow Burn, Soichiro is ooc in this, Souichirou's A+ Parenting, alternate universe- light has narcolepsy, protective L, souichirou is a dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-10 13:54:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6959488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NocturneProductions/pseuds/NocturneProductions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light always wished he was perfect, but that was just a dream. Still, he held onto that hope, because maybe if he did his father would love him again. But then, shifting in and out of consciousness he meets L. Being perfect for his parent's had always been Light's dream, but now maybe it doesn't have to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The same as always.

“Yagami-kun.”

Light scrunched his eyes in irritation. The bliss of sleep still held him in its grip, but its fingers were loosening from the Challenger. The teen twitched slightly, but showed no other signs of waking up.

“Yagami-kun!”

Light finally cracked open his caramel brown eyes blearily. A blurry figure loomed over him, impatiently waiting for him to get to his senses. The teen blinked, the the figure focused into the stern form of his teacher. Light’s head shot up in embarrassment, his fingers moved to fix his slightly disheveled hair. His teacher stared at him with a vague look of disappointment, causing him to shrink into his chair.

Light’s teacher sighed.“I think you should go to the office Yagami-kun.”

The teen grabbed his bag silently, slinging it over his shoulder as he got up from his desk. Light tried to ignore his classmates snickers and murmurs as he left the room without complaint. As he left the the classroom, Light Yagami would never notice the black book fall from the sky.

<0>

Light waited in the principal's office nervously. He wrung his hands as he waited to be called inside. His wish was soon answered then he saw the now all too familiar face of his assistant principal. The older man held open the office door with a slightly wrinkled hand.

“Please come inside, Light.” he said.

The teen did just that, sitting on a chair in front of his assistant principal's desk. On the desk was what you would expect to be on one. A computer was placed on one side, next to it was a cup filled to the brim with pencils and pens. On the front was a name tag plated with fake gold, on the name the was the name 'Mr.Rento.’ The man sat on the chair behind his desk.

Mr.Rento look at him with a solemn expression.“I see you fell asleep in class again That's the fourth time this week.”

Light hugged himself a bit. “Yeah.”

“This kind of behavior isn't _normal_ Light. This isn't a tired teenager dozing off in class. You pass out when you eat, when you _walk_. Incidents like these made you get kicked out of the tennis team!” His eyes softened. “You are one of my best students Light, it hurts me to see you fall apart like this. Have you talked to your father about this?”

“Yes.” Light whispered. “But dad doesn't believe me.”

“He doesn't believe you?!” Mr.Rento echoed.

“No he doesn't.”

Soichiro was right of course. He always was. The man had showed Light just how useless he was to fail at something so trivial. After all, who couldn't do something so simple as staying awake?

“It’s lunch time, can I go eat?” he asked.

His principle nodded hesitantly. “Alright.”

Light got up from his seat, cracking open the door that would get him out of this situation, out of the fact that his eyes would always have bags underneath them. Out of the weight of his father's stare. His principal's voice paused him.

“Have you tried to talk to your parents about seeing a doctor?”

“There would be nothing to diagnose. I’m just being lazy.” Light’s shoulders sagged. “I’m not trying hard enough.”

<0>

Light nibbled at his food, which after his interaction with Mr.Rento tasted like sand. He resolved to just look out the window. What he saw made him raise an eyebrow. There was someone in the courtyard, wearing a suit that was definitely not the school uniform. The mysterious person leaned down to pick up what looked to be a... notebook? The man hid the book underneath his jacket before Light could have a good look at it.

_This is interesting._ Light thought.

He wished he could observe the man more, but the voice of his teacher telling the class lunch was over drew his attention away. When the teen looked outside the window once again, the man was gone. A tad disappointed but not really surprised that his entertainment was no longer there, Light turned his attention back to the class. Besides, he thought to himself, it probably wasn't that important anyway.

<0>

Light walked down the sidewalk briskly, concentrating on staying awake. Despite the drowsiness, he had to keep going. Having an episode while while walking home would be awful. Not to mention the potential injury of his head slamming into concrete. He wouldn’t notice the blood pooling around him as he laid unconscious. It had happened before so it was more than possible.

Light was going to stop thinking about it.

Something was missing. Something that was little sister shaped. It was strange she usually came right about…

“LIGHT!”

Light gave out a laugh when Sayu barreled into him, swinging her arms around his shoulders. He ruffled his sister's dark hair, much to her dismay. She let out an annoyed huff, and fixed her locks by running her fingers through them.

“So how was school?” Light asked.

Sayu pouted. “My math teacher sucks! I don't get a single word that comes out of his dumb mouth! Could you help me with my homework?”

“You mean do your homework for you?”

“Um… how was _your_ day at school?”

_Way to avoid the question Sayu._ Light thought.

Yet when Light took in the question, he paused. It was odd to be asked this question from Sayu, he supposed. It wasn’t like Sayu never asked him how his day was, in fact she was the only one who asked him. Perhaps that was the problem. Light couldn't remember the last time his father asked how he was doing. Maybe Soichiro just didn’t care. His mother would ask from time to time, but it never matter. Everytime she asked it would be for the same reason.

_Will you be okay enough to go to school?_

_This won't affect your test grade, right?_

_You’ll be okay enough to study._

_Just drink some coffee, you can't afford to do badly on the exam._

_Stop being so lazy!_

 

_Why don’t you ever try?_

 

“It was just the same as always.” He said with a hint of solemness.

Sayu seemed to feel it as well. An uncomfortable silence fell between the two siblings. His sister gently grabbed his hand, squeezing it. Light’s breath wavered and he squeezed back.

<0>

He shifted in and out of consciousness. The couch wasn’t as comfortable as his bed, but it was definitely better than the kitchen tile. He had been searching the fridge for a pick me up when his drowsiness suddenly became unbearable. He had barely made it to the couch in time. Light felt the softness of a blanket and a pillow resting underneath his head, no doubt thanks to Sayu. He sat up, and to his dismay his school outfit was completely wrinkled. Sayu sat on the opposite end of the couch, with her legs curled over his. Her attention was transfixed on the TV in front of her. Light rubbed his eyes and groaned at the music coming from it. It was awful, autotuned garbage that was clearly marketed to girls from age twelve to fifteen.

_Well they certainly reach their target audience._ Light thought, bemused.

It was time to put a stop to this. “Urg, Sayu what are you listening to?”

Sayu turned her head to look at him with an annoyed frown. “Well, good morning sunshine.”

Light freed his legs from his sister’s weight, opting to hang them over the side of the couch. Annoyed at the music, and his sisters defiant refusal to answer his question, he made a lunge for the remote. Sayu seemed to anticipate this however, and grabbed it before Light could.

“Sayu give me the remote!” He demanded.

“No!” Sayu refused.

Light made a lunge for the remote once again, and in retort sayu scrambled off the couch. He chased after the girl, as they both ran around the sofa. They would pause when they were a opposite ends, knowing full well that if one escaped the cycle, it was all over.

Light scowled. “Your music sucks!”

“Wow, I came here to be appreciated, not to be judged for listening to Hideki Ryuga.” Sayu scoffed.

“You know,” he replied. “If you had a thing called taste we wouldn’t be in this situation right now.”

“At least I don't listen to stuff that was made two hundred years ago!”

“It’s called being classy!”

Sayu jumped over the side of the couch when Light charged at her. She rested her hands on the edge of the piece of furniture, and stuck out her tongue.

“No, it’s called being a hipster!” Sayu teased.

Light’s face went red. “I am not a hipster!”

The teen managed to wrench the remote from his sister's hands. Sayu clung to Light, trying to get it back. Her brother held it just out of reach, but her fingers managed to press some of the buttons. It was the news, to both of their annoyances. Light was about to change the channel, but then went still. Sayu paused in her movements as well, her eyes were wide horrified by what she was seeing.

The newscaster was speaking frantically. “The same assailant who attacked 6 people at a busy shopping district in Sinjuku yesterday has struck again. Taking 8 people hostage at this daycare centre. His captives include both children and teachers. The police have now identified the suspect as 42-year-old Kuro Otoharada, currently unemployed. We expect negotiations to begin immediately.”

Sayu looked at Light nervously. “Do you think they’ll make it out ok?”

“I don't know.” Light replied. “You shouldn’t be watching this, let’s switch to a different channel okay?”

“Light! I’m not a kid anymore! So stop-”

Sayu was interrupted by the newscasters frantic yelling. “Wait, we're seeing something here. Looks like there's movement at the front entrance. The hostages are coming out and they all look to be unharmed. The Special Forces are taking action, they're moving in! We don't know if the suspect's been arrested. Huh? Yes? Ok, we now have confirmation. The suspect has been found dead inside. I repeat, the suspect is now dead.”

“Dead?” The siblings echoed.

A newscaster spoke with a wavery voice, trying to stay calm. “The Special Forces are denying allegations that they shot the suspect.”

“So, it's quite possible he was feeling cornered and decided to commit suicide?” Another newscaster asked.

“Well, according to statements from hostages the suspect just suddenly collapsed.” The man replied.

“A heart attack?” Light mused to himself.

Sayu looked relieved. “Oh thank god!” She turned to her brother with curiosity. “What are the chances of that happening?”

“Much greater than the chance of getting attacked by a shark.” Light said with a touch of amusement. “It’s just a coincidence.”

Yet as he said this, a sense of dread coiled in his stomach. A small part of him wondered if maybe this was more and a coincidence. No matter how irrational it was, Light had a feeling that something big was coming. Something dangerous. Something deadly. Whatever was coming, it was a large force to be reckoned with. It reminded Light of the weight of his father's judgemental stares.


	2. Father.

Kira.

 

It was the only name Light heard now. Kira this, Kira that. It wasn't as if Kira wasn't interesting, that couldn't be farther from the truth. The killer was one of the most interesting things he had seen. Criminals were dropping like flies, the deaths were all the same. Heart attack. They would always blare on the news about another "mysterous" death. To have the power to kill in such a way, was amazing. Though Light never saw the point, it wasn't as if anything would change from it. The minute Kira left crime would be soaring once again.

There were downsides to Kira too. No doubt his father would be home even less now. The thought made Light's chest tighten. How would his dad notice how hard he was working, if he was never there? It wasn't like Soichiro was home that often anyway, he always was working on a new case. Light understood of course, justice had to be held for society to run smoothly.

So what did it matter to him when he was only nine years old. What did it matter when he won the tennis championship without getting a cataplectic attack. What did it matter when his eyes scanned the audience, looking for his father, only to have him not be there. What did it matter when tears spilled down his cheeks, and what should have been the best day of his life became his worst. It was fine. He was fine.

 

 _I am fine_.

 

Light looked over at Sayu, with a contemplative expression. He watched her do quadratic equations with the determination of a soldier. His sister's scribbling suddenly stopped, and she leaned back tiredly. Sayu picked up her notebook and showed it to Light excitedly.

“Did I do it right?” She asked.

He looked over his sister's homework, though it becoming increasingly more difficult. His head kept moving down as sleep grabbed at him. Light snapped his head up in retaliation.

“Yes you did. See how showing all of your work helps?” He said.

Sayu nodded eagerly, happiness making her eyes light up. It was amazing how stubborn she could be. No matter how much something frustrated her, she would keep trying until she got her way. Whether it be quadratic formulas or whatever life may throw at her.

 _She’s going to do a good job._ Light decided. 

His head hit the desk, causing Sayu to blink in surprise. Surprise soon turned into giggles, and Sayu playfully patted his head. As Light's eyes closed, a small content smile grew on his face.

_She's going to do a good job._

 

<0>

 

His pencil ran along the paper quickly. He had always been a fast writer, he had to be. If he wasn't, studying would take triple the amount of time than it needed to. Falling asleep randomly really could make it a pain. The news played in the background, as a substitute for music. He was  _ invested _ in Kira now. He tracked every death, tracked the times of the deaths. Light made theories in his head. Things like, how old kira was, what his personality was like. These thoughts were halted as soon as the news was.

“Hey!” Light complained. “What the-”

A Television announcer showed up on screen. He spoke into the microphone in his hand with a stoney voice. “We'd like to apologize for the interruption. As of now we're bringing you a live worldwide broadcast from Interpol, ICPO.”

“Interpol?” Light echoed.

“We now take you live to the ICPO.”

Another man appeared on the TV, he had black messy hair that touched his shoulders. He was dressed in a suit, that was clearly very expensive. He stood behind a podium that had a microphone attached to it. Also on the podium was a conveniently placed name tag; on it was the name ‘Lind L. Tailor.”

The man began to speak. “I head up an International Police Task Force which includes all member nations. I am Lind L. Tailor, otherwise known as L.”

_ Oh really?  _ Light thought sarcastically.  _ I thought your name was John doe! _

Though the more he thought it. The more the name ‘L’ seemed familiar. He had heard it before, but from  _ where _ ? It ate at him, he should know who this guy was, yet he didn't.

Lind continued to speak. “Criminals around the world are being murdered by a serial killer. I consider this crime to be the most atrocious act of murder in history. I will not rest until the person or persons responsible are brought to justice. Kira, I will hunt you down. I will find you.”

Somehow Light didn't consider threatening someone, with the supernatural power to kill whenever he pleased, a good idea.

“Kira, I've got a pretty good idea what your motivation might be, and I can guess what you hope to achieve. However, what you're doing right now is evil!”

Light was almost one hundred percent certain that L was going to die. Honestly, now he was  _ taunting _ Kira. It was almost like he wanted to be killed! It was so disappointing that L would perish so early in the game. What kind of detective revealed their face and name willy nilly? Unsurprisingly, Lind L. Tailor dropped dead, falling as his hands desperately grabbed wildly at his chest. The man slumped over on the podium, unmoving. Light felt a tad disturbed seeing a man die right in front of him. The teen had no time to dwell on it however, as to men in black suits dragged the body away.

“I guess you're just too stupid, L. Too bad. This could've been a lot more interesting if you'd only been a bit smarter.” Light mused.

He had expected the screen to change to the news anchors, who would proceed  to apologize profusely. After that, they would talk about Kira for the rest of the day. That did not happen though. Instead, the screen  turned white, and in the middle was a single gothic letter L. Light’s eyes widened.

From the screen came a distorted voice. “Ah. I had to test this, just in case, but I-I never thought it would actually happen. Kira...it seems you can kill people without having to be there in person. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't just witnessed it. Listen to me, Kira. If you did, indeed, kill Lind L. Tailor, the man who you just saw die on television, I should tell you that he was an inmate whose execution was scheduled for today. That was not me.”

“Clearly.” Light said, awestruck.

“The police arrested him in absolute secrecy, so you wouldn't have heard of him on TV or through the internet. It appears not even you have access to information about these types of criminals. But I assure you, L _ is  _ real. I  _ do  _ exist. Now...try to kill  _ me _ !”

Now he was apprehensive. Did L have a death wish? No, the detective proved that he was much more intelligent than Light anticipated. Not that it mattered, all he could do was sit, and watch.

“What's wrong?! Go ahead! Come on, right now! Kill me!” L taunted. “Can't you do it?”

No, Kira  _ couldn’t  _ do it. As light realized this, a grin spread across his face.

“So there are some people you can't kill. You've given me a useful hint.” L paused. “A dealer to a saver. I'll tell you something that I think you'll find interesting. Although this was announced as a worldwide broadcast, the truth is, we are only broadcasting in the Kanto region of Japan. I had planned to broadcast this message around the world until we found you, but it looks like that won't be necessary. I know now where you are.”

_ This L guy is amazing.  _ The teen thought.

“The police treated your first killing as an unrelated incident, but in actuality, the first of your victims was a suspect in Sinjuku. Of all the criminals that recently died of heart attacks, this one's crime was, by far, the least serious. Furthermore, his crime was only ever reported inside Japan. I used that information to deduce this much. You are in Japan and your first victim was little more than an experiment, which means you haven't been killing for very long. We decided to broadcast in Kanto first because of its large population, and, luckily, we found you. To be completely honest with you, I never expected it would go this well. But it won't be too long now before I'll be able to sentence you to death. Naturally, I am very interested to know how you're able to commit these murders without being present...but I don't mind waiting a little bit longer. You can answer all of my questions when I catch you...Let's meet again soon, Kira.”

With that final name uttered, The gothic letter L faded into static. Light was left alone sitting at his desk, with only the buzz of the tv to keep him company. The teen’s smile had been growing through L’s entire speech. Now he was chuckling in excitement. Kira had been fun on his own, but now with L on the board things were going to be much more interesting. Light wondered who would win, it was impossible to tell now. That was alright though, he was content to watch the battle from a distance.

 

<0>

 

Light stepped out of his room, rubbing his eyes. He could smell his mother's cooking, wafting in from the kitchen. His stomach growled, and he walked towards the appetising aroma. Sachiko’s sudden appearance stopped him. Light's mother looked surprised for a moment.

“Oh, Light! I was actually coming up to tell you dinner is done.” She exclaimed.

Light smiled nervously. “Heh, I could smell it from here.”

Sachiko seemed to ignore him. “I didn't come up earlier because Sayu told me you were studying. But now that you're done, may I?”

Light was confused for a second. “Huh? Oh, the results of the nationwide exams.”

“I've been waiting all day.”

Light walked back into his room. ‘I’m getting it right now, okay?”

He was just grateful his mother's hello to him hadn’t been laced with negativity. She would be so disappointed if she found out he was sleeping instead of studying. Thanks to Sayu’s lie, that wasn’t the case. Light would have to get her chocolate for that, he decided. As his fingers wrapped around the piece of paper in his bag, he thought to himself that maybe this would be a good day. Just maybe. He put the paper into his mother’s eager hands.

Her eye’s lit up. “Goodness! Number one again! These are the highest scores you've had.”

His chest felt lighter at the praise, and he smiled. “Yeah they are. How about we have some dinner?”

Light sat at the chair next to sayu, and helped himself to some sushi and ramen. Hunger gnawed at him, he hadn’t eaten since school. He and and his sister chattered aimlessly, about random things. About school, what they were planning to wear the next day, much to Light’s exasperation. Considering that because of school, they always wore a uniform. The sound of a lock clicking, and the front door being opened echoed throughout the house. Sayu gasped excitedly.

“Dad’s home!” She squealed.

The young girl and her mother rushed over to Soichiro. Light however, hung behind by the kitchen doorway. Sayu wrapped her arms around the chief's neck, giggling. Soichiro gave her a bear hug in retaliation, his stress fading away to a relaxed grin. Sachiko closed the door behind them, ushering him to the kitchen. Light’s father locked eyes with him, and his face held no emotion.

“Hello Light.” he said stiffly.

“Hello dad.” The teen replied.

Light wondered what it was like for Sayu to be able to interact with their father like that. It had been so long since Soichiro looked at him without any contempt in his eyes. The girl really was lucky to have the privilege of the chief's smile. It was times like these, that made Light envious of Sayu. His father’s smile and acceptance was a precious thing to have, and he could never take that away from her.

 _Maybe..._ Light thought. _Maybe he’ll be happy when he hears my score on the exam?_

The family sat down together at the dinner table. They all were silent while they ate. There was a tenseness in the air that hung like a noose around Light’s neck. Soichiro suddenly set his fork down, and looked at his son. The chief rested his elbows on the table, and hooked his hands together.

“So Light, tell me; how are your studies going?” He asked.

“Everything's okay, I guess.” The teen answered nervously.

Sayu scoffed. “Whatever. He’s at the top of his class. My big brother is a genius.”

Light grinned lightly at her. Though it faded away from the burn of Soichiro's gaze burning Into the side of his head. He could feel his father calculating his words, trying to find a lie in between the cracks. Once the chief seemed satisfied with his son’s answer, he leaned back more relaxed.

“You know…” Light licked his lips. “I’m number one on the nationwide exams.”

“Woah, really!?” Sayu exclaimed.

Unlike his daughter, Soichiro was silent. The chief seemed to regard the teen for a moment. This was it, Light realized. The moment that would tell him what he had done was a success. That he wasn't a failure. The response that came out of his father's mouth would be what assured him that he was worth _something._ Light waited anxiously, hopeful he had done something right this time.

His father spoke curtly.“Same as always then.”

On the outside, he nodded simply. But in his head, Light was nodding in agreement that yes, he was the same as always to his father. As always, he was a disappointment. He thought he had done good this time! He thought Soichiro would be proud.  Clearly he had done something wrong, but what? Light just wanted to see his father smile at him. But even when he showed the chief his greatest accomplishment, he still did not smile. His father just looked at light with that _look_ on his face. Like he…like...

 

Light wasn't hungry anymore.

 

“I’m going to go upstairs.” He said.

Sachiko was shocked. “But you only ate half your plate!”

Light gave a fake laugh. “Yeah, I must have eaten too many potato chips earlier.”

“Well if you're sure…” She hummed with concern.

“I am.” Light lied. “I’m going to study, then go to bed. Okay?”

The teen got up from the table, making sure to not look his father in the eye. He tried to ignore Sayu’s worried eyes trailing him as he walked up the stairs. Once Light reached the privacy of his bedroom, he closed the door behind him. The teen limply slid down it.

 _Why do I always mess everything up?_ He thought.

On his bedroom floor, Light began to shake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy you guys are liking this! This fic is very fun to write X)
> 
> Your comments really motivate me!


	3. Blood on the concrete.

__ Light had been walking to school when he first noticed it. Someone was following him. He never got a good look at his stalker's face, but it was definitely a middle-aged man. And whoever this man was, he always wore a suit. That was something that struck the teen as odd. Surely your run of the mill creepy psychopathic stalker did not wear one? Yet he was always there, observing him. Following where he went. It had gotten Light so paranoid that he starting putting paper and pencil lead in the door. 

Yet his stalker hadn’t entered his room. Not once. That was not how stalkers acted. If he was like other stalkers, wouldn’t he be calling him, leaving “gifts”, and breaking into his house? No, this wasn’t just a stalker, this was something  _ more _ . But what was it?! Light didn't know, and that terrified him. He couldn’t tell his father about this, he  _ couldn’t _ . He was too busy working on the Kira case. Light couldn’t bear to burden the man even more. No, he would deal with this on his own.

Of course, he wasn't so foolish as to let his stalker know that he realized he was being followed. Doing that almost always resulted in the stalker feeling cornered. When that happened, much like a wild animal they would strike. Light Yagami was no fool. He and his stalker’s meeting would be planned, and he would have the upper hand. Then Light would get the answer he had been waiting for. Why? Why stalk him? What did he have to offer?

In the meantime, He had been following the Kira investigation. The teen was invested before, but now it had become his new passion. He had so many theories, had so many questions. After the incident with Lind L. Tailor, he had started collecting newspaper articles about the deaths of Kira's victims. It was all so interesting! Sometimes Light wished he could talk to L. It was silly, of course. It wasn’t as if the detective would go out of his way to meet him. Maybe one day, the teen decided. Once he stopped being so lazy, and stopped falling asleep so much.

Light looked over at Sayu, who sat on the couch with one foot on the Ottoman. He was glad his stalker wasn't following his sister. If he was, the teen would end up doing something brash. Such as bashing the creep's face in. The teen blinked when he realized Sayu was looking at him.

“What?” Light asked.

Sayu grinned at him mischievously. “Want to go to Spaceland with me?”

“Spaceland? Me and roller coasters don't mix Sayu.”

“Aww come on! Mom gave me two tickets so I could bring a friend. We'll only play the games and go on the small rides. Promise.”

“Sayu I don't think -”

“Please? You've been doing nothing but studying all week, you need to have some fun for once!”

“Sayu-”

“Pleaseeee?”

Light sighed. Sometimes he really hated being a good big brother. Sayu was giving him the strongest puppy dog eyes he had even seen. It was impossible to resist.

“Only for you Sayu.” He relented.

It pained him to stop studying. It wasn't as if studying was fun, because it wasn't. Even for a genius like him, studying was very, very boring. He already knew all of the material, so now the words in his books mixed together forming a buzz that burned his brain. If he spent all of his time studying though, he would get perfect scores. Of course, Even without studying once he would still be on the honor roll. But the one or two wrong answers he got on his finals were still  _ mistakes _ . With those plaguing his scores, was it really any surprise Soichiro was disappointed in him?

Just the thought of his father made Light’s chest tighten. He hated to upset dad, but the thought of Sayu being sad because of him was almost worse. He wasn’t taking a break, Light reasoned to himself. This wasn’t about having  _ fun _ . This was about learning to stopping falling asleep so much. He didn’t mean to do it. It just happened at random times, and usually those times were the worst possible ones.

Light remembered when his bouts of sleep started. He had just turned eight, and had started to become more and drowsy during the day. Sachiko of course, had assumed his bedtime had been too late. So she changed it to eight O clock. Soichiro still smiled at him then. Light remembered how his father had ruffled his hair. He had said in understanding: 'It’s okay champ, every growing boy needs their sleep.’ It hadn’t helped, and he could tell that his parents were getting worried. It all changed when he had collapsed on the playground. His teachers had talked to his father in their office, and Light had to wait outside. When Soichiro walked out of the office, he looked at him with a stoic expression.  He never smiled at Light again.

His teachers must have told his father to have his son be evaluated by a doctor. That must have been the moment dad realized he was being lazy, Light thought. He just had to word extra hard, achieve the best grades possible, be  _ perfect _ . It didn’t matter if he missed a meal or two, or stopped doing anything other than studying. He didn’t have a  _ disorder, _ he just had to work harder. Then Light would stop being tired all the time, then he would stop falling asleep. Then…

Maybe dad would love him again.

 

<0>

 

Light was lulled awake by the frantic shaking of his sister. He grimaced at the light that invaded his eyes. A blot of shame filled his mind when the teen realized he had fallen asleep  _ again. _

_ That was the fifth time today.  _ Light thought.  _ How could I be so careless? _

He lifted his head to see why Sayu had woken him up. His eye’s widened at the sheer terror in her eyes. He looked over at the front of the bus, and sucked in a breath. A grungy looking man stood there, and he was pointing a gun at the bus driver's head. Light realized he recognized this man, he was Kiichiro Osoreda. The criminal had been all over the news, he was a drug addict and failed to rob a bank. Apparently he had shot and killed three people, but escaped. This was bad, Kiichiro clearly had no qualms about hurting others.The other inhabitants of the bus were quivering in terror in their seats. Light cursed in his head. How could he have fallen asleep?! He had been so anxious when he entered the bus. His stalker had entered right after he and Sayu did, and then the man took the seat  _ behind them _ .

To his credit, the man seemed more shocked than confused. He was the only one not terrified, other than one other person. He sat on the other side of the bus to the teen, with a stoic expression. The other man seemed oddly calm about the situation. Light took in his dark hair, black business suit, and his hard inky eyes that his behind his ebony rimmed glasses. Something about that man disturbed Light. Perhaps it was his calmness, or maybe it was just the eeriness that seemed to hang around him. He wasn't sure who was creepier, his stalker or whoever this stranger was.

"Everybody shut up! If anybody moves i’ll put a bullet in their head!” Kiichiro Osoreda yelled. “Alright driver, you listen to me. I know you’ve got the number for Spaceland’s office on ya’. Call em’!”

“O-okay.” The bus driver stuttered in terror. “This is Sasaki calling from bus one seven four.”

“Tell em’ what’s going on, and no trick’s either!” the criminal demanded.

The man obeyed in fear. “M-my bus has been hijacked, and he’s holding a gun to my head!”

“That’s it.” He grabbed the phone from the driver's hand. “You heard what he said! Now you listen up! Have a female staff member bring all of Spaceland’s cash from yesterday, I know it’s there! Have us meet two bus stops from the park, and don’t make me wait. If you mess with me at all or try to get the police involved, I swear i’ll kill every one of these passengers!”

WIth that, the criminal threw the phone to the ground and smashed it with his foot. Light was cursing in his head now, but he couldn’t do anything stupid. Light’s sister was trembling, and he could tell she was trying her hardest not to make too much noise. It was then he realized Sayu was the one sitting closest to the isle. It was clear in the teens mind, the only thing that mattered right now was getting her to safety.

“Sayu.” he whispered.

She looked at her brother in confusion. Light motioned for her to sit on the other side of him. Her eye’s lit up in understanding, and she carefully moved past him, moving over his lap. He let out a breath when Sayu was the one sitting by the window.

Light whispered again. “Get down.”

His sister nodded, lowering herself so her head was no longer visible above the seats. It was not perfect by any means, but it was better than nothing. Sayu would be safer there. If Kiichiro decided to do something stupid, like try to attack his sister his bullets would never reach her. The only way the criminal was going to harm her, was through his dead body.  

Light blinked in surprise when the man that sat across from them held up a note. Written on it was his plan.

‘As soon as he turns around, i’m going to grab the gun out of his hand.’

His stalker replied in a hushed voice. “Don’t be stupid, that’s risky. If it comes to that, i’ll take care of it.”

Light had to agree with his stalker on that one. How reckless could you be to try to grab a loaded gun out of someone's hands? The only thing you would gain from it, was a bullet in your stomach.

“It’s okay, we don't have to pass notes back and forth.” his stalker continued. “As long as we keep it down, he won't be able to hear our voices over the sound of the engine.”

The man narrowed his eye’s. “Do you have any proof that you’re not his accomplice? Why should we trust you?”

“Accomplice?” Sayu echoed.

“Yes i’ve read about this before.” The man confirmed.“The first hijacker comes in like he’s working alone, meanwhile the second one pretends to be a hostage and stays in the very back just in case something goes wrong.”

Light’s stalker seemed conflicted. After a moment the man's face faded into a resigned expression. He took out his wallet from his pocket.

“I guess I have no choice…” He said.

The man showed his ID to them, Light’s eyes widened when he saw it.

_ The FBI?! What are they doing here?  _ Light thought.  _ Wait, no. It makes sense. L must be investigating the SPK’s families just to make sure none of them are Kira. _

“I trust you.” the teen said. “I won’t bother asking what an FBI agent is doing on a bus in the first place.”

The blacked haired man looked over at Raye curiously. “Do you have a gun?”

“Yeah. I’ve got one.” The agent replied.

“So if it comes down to it, I can rely on you, right?” The man asked.

“Yes.”

Light rubbed Sayu’s back comfortingly. There was no doubt she was terrified. That made him angry at the criminal that held them hostage. The disgusting man still stood in the front, shouting obscenities and threatening an elderly couple. Why? Why hijack a bus today of all days? It was supposed to be his sister's happy day! She should have been laughing, not struggling to keep her tears of fear from spilling out. 

A slip of paper fell out of the strange man’s pocket. He leaned over to pick it up, and froze when Kiichiro Osoreda noticed. The criminal looked enraged.

“Don’t move you little punk!” He yelled. “What the hell is that?”

The criminal walked to the end of the bus, and picked up the paper.  “Heh, a smart ass! You guys were planning something here, weren’t cha?”

Light was on edge. When Kiichiro found out that the man had been planning to disarm him, it was going to get ugly. At best, the stranger was going to be threatened. At worst…

 

He might see a man die in front of him.

 

As he feared, the criminal growled when he saw what was written on the paper. He crumpled it, and threw it to the ground. He practically shoved the end of his gun to the stranger’s forehead. The new victim seemed surprised, but not afraid. It was so abnormal, Mild surprise was  _ not _ how people reacted to facing their demise. Even the worst psychopaths or sociopaths felt terror when meeting their end. The suited man showed no signs of fear however, in fact he looked like he had anticipated this. The look on the man’s face was satisfaction, like he had won a game.

It sent a chill down Light’s spine.

Kiichiro didn’t seem to notice the strange behavior. “Ya’ planning to be a knight in shining armour?! Let’s see how brave you are when a bullet caves in your head!”

Before the drug addict could pull the trigger, Sunlight entered the bus. The light lit up the shadows that clung to the walls. Kiichiro looked at the end of the bus, and recoiled in fear. The criminal began to shake in fear, pointing his gun at the invisible phantom.

“What the fuck is that?!” He screamed. “Get back! Get away from me you… you freak!”

The criminal backed up a few steps. Whatever he saw seemed to step closer and closer to him. Kiichiro trembled, and his finger rested on the trigger of his pistol. Raye sprung into action when he realized the imminent danger.

“Shit! He’s hallucinating!” The agent swore. “Everyone get down, NOW!”

The inhabitants of the bus obeyed, ducking their heads beneath the back of their seats. Light wrapped his arm around Sayu, covering her body with his. If a speeding bullet came their way, he would be his sister’s meat shield.

“Get away!” Kiichiro yelled.

The criminal began to hurl bullets at the end of the bus. The loud noise invaded the teens ears. He flinched, and clutched Sayu tighter. The drug addict was screaming like a banshee, shooting at an invisible phantom. The bullets pierced the back window, smashing it open. In mere moments, Kiichiro smashed his trigger, only to be greeted with a click. The man stood, gasping in terror. The criminal seemed to realize whatever he saw wasn’t going to die, and began to panic. Raye Penber took advantage of this moment of weakness, and rushed towards Kiichiro.  The criminal ran to the bus driver, grabbing him.

“Stop the bus!” He yelled. “Let me off!”

The driver slammed down the breaks, causing the bus to skid. The addict didn’t care though, and he rushed out of the bus’s open doors. Kiichiro landed on the street, on his hands and knees. The loud sound of skidding made the criminal look in the direction of his demise. He didn’t have time to react before the car struck him.

 

Everything was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so conflicted with this chapter! I wasn't sure if I wanted the chapter to end with light meeting a certain someones fiancee or not. In the end I decided to save it for the next chapter. 
> 
> I'm super hyped to write Light and L's meeting, but I don't want to decrease the quality of the story by rushing to get to it. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.


	4. Into the foggy glass.

Light walked down the street silently. The bag that held Soichiro’s clothing was held loosely in the teen’s fingers. It was a hazy day. The world around him eventually faded into fog the farther it was. The teen didn’t normally do this, but after the bus incident he didn’t exactly feel comfortable with Sayu going out on her own. And judging from the relieved expression on her face when Light said he would do it for her, she felt the same way.

Life had been a bit different after the bus-jacking. For one, Sayu had been acting more cautious. She always carried pepper spray with her now. Light had been on edge too. For one, his stalker was gone. Maybe it was because he now knew the agent’s identity. It should have made him more relaxed, but all it did was make him more anxious. When Light was being stalked, he could anticipate Raye’s next move; now he had no clue what was going to happen next. The teen wasn’t sure if this was the end, or if another agent would come.

He would take it all in stride, though. After all, he couldn’t let his fears decrease the quality of his work. Light gazed at the task force headquarters building in front of him. This was why he went through so much sacrifice. The teen hadn’t been here in so long; his memories of this place were blurry at best. It didn’t matter though, he hadn’t deserved to be here. Until he graduated from college and became director, he would never go farther than the reception desk. Light entered the building, and raised a brow when he saw the woman at the desk.  

“Please!” She begged. “I need to speak directly with someone from the special investigation task force, it’s urgent!”

“I’m sorry ma'am, but I can't help you. As I’ve told you already there is no one at task force headquarters right now.” The receptionist replied.

 _There’s no one at headquarters? That’s strange. What’s going on?_ Light thought.

“Can’t you contact them somehow?” She asked. “I have information regarding the kira investigation.”

 _The kira investigation?_ He inquired.  

The receptionist frowned at her. “Look, I’ll called headquarters one more time for you. One moment...”

The teen decided to ignore the woman for now. He walked to her side, holding up his father’s bag to the other receptionist. “Hi, i’m detective Soichiro Yagami’s son, Light Yagami. I brought dad a change of clothes, but it doesn't look like he’s in. Can I leave them here?”

“Sure.” The man squinted his eyes at him, like he was trying to remember something. His eyes sparked in realization. “Oh, Light! I haven’t seen you since you were a kid,  how have you been?”

“Fine.” Light replied. His face flushed slightly in embarrassment. “Sorry, i’ve never been good at faces.”

“Well nobody remembers the receptionist, right?” He laughed.

“I just sign the form right?”

“I remember you were really good at solving cases back then. Are you going to help with the Kira investigation too?”

Light frowned a bit, he looked down at the floor. “I would just get in the way.”

The other receptionist put down his phone. “As I thought, there’s no one at head quarters. You’re going to have to trust me on this ma'am. I’ll be sure to give them your message as soon as I see them, I promise.”

“That’s not good enough!” She said, irritated. “I have to tell them in person!”

Light regarded the woman analytically. She must have figured out there was a leak in police information. That must have been why she wanted to see them in person. He couldn’t bear to have his father see him outside of the house, but maybe he could help her.

“Excuse me, my father is actually chief of the taskforce. If you want I could give them my good word. With that, I’m sure they’ll let you in the headquarters.” He said.

The woman looked shocked. “You would do that for me?”

“It’s the curse of the people pleaser.” The teen said dryly.

She smiled at him, making Light look away bashfully. The woman walked with him while he left the building. Before the teen stepped out, He turned back to the receptionist.

“Put in my word for her, alright?” Light said.

The man nodded. “I’ll make sure she’ll get to meet the taskforce in person.”

Satisfied with the answer, the teen stepped outside. He shivered a bit from the chill of the air, used to the warmth of the building. The woman looked at him curiously.

“You sure this is alright?” She asked one final time.

He nodded. “Yeah. Everything counts with this investigation, i’m not going to let potentially vital evidence slip by due to a missed appointment.”

She grinned a bit at the subtle joke, prompting Light to continue talking.

“Besides…” The teen looked at the woman like he was examining every layer of her. “You seem the type of person who would be absolutely certain of something, before putting it out in the world.”

The woman gave a little sigh through her nose. It was like a resigned agreement, but it was also like she was remembering something tragic.

“I gotta say, you must be pretty brave to get involved in the kira investigation.” He remarked.

“Oh, not really.” She replied.

“I never really was one to get involved in this sort of thing. It’s not like i’m not interested, but i’m always too busy.” Light admitted.

Naomi regarded Light silently. To most people the teen looked perfectly happy, but her years as an FBI agent had done her well. She noticed that his smiles never quite reached his eyes. Yet here he was, cracking subtle jokes, offering her help. Light may have acted carefree, but Naomi could tell he was carrying a heavy burden on his shoulders. And then there was what he said back at headquarters.

 

_I would just get in the way._

 

That was not simple humility. Light had said it in such a tone, that it was like he had said it over and over to himself constantly. The teen's self esteem was little to _nothing_ . From what Raye told her, he was a genius. So why was Light so unsure of himself? He always looked tired, no, he looked _exhausted_. He looked so sad. The severity of his emotions must have built up over the years. Light was a good actor to be able to convince everyone that he was fine, but emotion could defeat even the greatest man on earth. It was clear the mask he put up was starting to crumble. Naomi wasn’t sure who Light was trying to convince that he was happy, the people around him, or himself.  

 _Who did this to you?_ Naomi thought.

The teen looked at her like he had suddenly realized something. “Oh! I’m so sorry. We’ve been talking, and I haven’t even asked for your name. I’m Light Yagami.”

“Oh, it’s fine. My name is Shoko Maki.” She lied.

It wasn't the best alias she ever had, but she did what she could with the resources at hand. She was almost certain Light wasn't Kira; he didn't fit the killer’s profile. But in a world where all someone needs to kill you is your name and face, you had to be careful. The teen seemed satisfied with her answer though, and nodded pleasantly.

“Maki…” Light rolled the name off his tongue, testing it, then he smiled. “That’s a nice name.”

“Thank you.” She replied pleasantly.

The teen looked at her. “If you don't mind me asking… what made you want to get involved in the Kira case?”

Naomi hesitated.“My fiance was working with the FBI, then caught up in a bus-jacking.”

 _A bus-jacking!?_ Light thought, alarmed.

He pieced together what the woman said. Then the biggest epiphany of his life rammed into him. Light staggered, coming to a stop. He knew who her fiance was, but he was afraid to say it. Naomi realized that the teen was no longer walking with her, and she turned around. Her dark eyes widened in concern when she saw his pale face.

“Are you okay?” Naomi asked.

“Maki…” Light voice trembled. “Was your fiance Raye Penber?”

The woman seemed horrified. “How.. how did you…”

“Raye was my stalker. He was investigating me for the Kira case, but he stopped showing up. Maki, what happened?” The teen asked.

She looked away from him, grief flooding her eyes. “He was killed by kira only days after the bus-jacking. There is no doubt in my mind that Kira was on that bus.”

“I'm sorry for your loss.” Light said, there was nothing else he  _could_ say.

Naomi clutched her hands together, suddenly looking up. There was a sort of crazed desperation in her eyes. A longing to know why Kira had to cause her so much grief. A need to know _why_.

“Please!” She begged. “You were on that bus, was there someone, _anyone_ you found suspicious?”

“There were a lot of people on the bus, and your fiance showed his ID to pretty much anyone that wasn’t in the front. The only person on the bus that was a little abnormal, was a young business man. Even he only seemed to have a small personality disorder.” the teen stammered.

Naomi sighed a bit. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stress you out. Of course you wouldn’t know the identities of the people on the bus. Even the bus driver didn’t.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be more useful.”

“‘I’m sorry I couldn’t be more useful’? Light you have been the most useful person in helping me so far. Without you my information would never reach the taskforce.”

Light was a bit shocked at the statement. Someone telling him he was useful was alien to him. It was strange, foreign. Despite this, it was...nice. Even though Light knew he was worthless, the concept of the lie was soothing. It was a pleasant thought, to be able to say to himself that he was worth something. It would never become a reality until he stopped falling asleep.

“I…” He smiled weakly. “You’re welcome.”

Naomi blinked in realization. “Oh, how long have we been out here? I should be heading back, the taskforce is probably at headquarters by now.”

“Yeah.” The teen said.

The agent began to walk to the building. Light almost let her go without stopping her. He hated to get involved in cases when he wasn't good enough to help with anything. However, Maki seemed to like him. Or respected him, at the very least. So maybe she wouldn’t mind sending his message. Besides it wasn’t _him_ who was helping the case, it was Maki. The woman could choose to stay silent. He was satisfied with that. The idea was in her hands, not his. Soichiro wouldn’t even know his son was the one who gave the theory.

“Wait!” Light called out, halting the agent’s steps.

She looked at him curiously. “What is it, Light?”

“I got an idea about Kira’s killing, from the bus jacking.” he admitted. “Could you… mention it to the taskforce to me?”

“Alright, what is it.” She agreed.

“Well, it’s kind of silly. But the criminal that hijacked the bus acted strangely, _too_ strangely. Sure he was a drug addict, but it was strange how he only started to hallucinate after going to the back of the bus. When he was firing his gun, no one got hurt. Then, when he collapsed out of the door, it just happened to be in the path of a speeding car. I mean, what are the chances?” Light coughed. “So… I have a theory that kira can control the cause of death. It doesn't have to be a heart attack.”

The air finally gave into the coldness of winter. Snowflakes began to drift down from the grey sky, dancing around the duo. Light could see the air leave the woman's mouth as she breathed. Maki seemed to look into him. Her eyes showed clearly that she was thinking. It made him uneasy. His heart sunk when a soft chuckle blew past her lips. She thought it was stupid, didn’t she? Of course it was. How could he ever think that a idea from his head was useful in any way?

“It’s not silly.” She said, catching him completely off guard. “It’s just funny. That was what I was thinking too.”

With that, Naomi turned away from him. The baffled teen was left alone with his thoughts, as she disappeared into the fog.

 

<0>

 

Light walked up to his house glad that his school day was finally over. He had fallen asleep while eating his lunch. Again. It was so humiliating. It felt oddly lonely to the teen to be walking home without Sayu. Apparently her and mom were going out to have their nails done. Dad had paid for it too, which was odd. Usually the man never bothered with that sort of thing, unless it was birthday or a holiday. Soichiro must have been trying to make up for being gone for so long. The mother and daughter had been so excited. It was all Sayu talked about while they walked to school.

 _Girls will be girls._ Light thought.

He grabbed his house key from his bag, and opened his front door. He entered his home, and closed it behind him. The darkness of an empty house greeted him. It was unusual. He would have to get used to this though. The teen took off his shoes and went upstairs. Even though he was pretty sure he didn't need to add the little tests to make sure no one entered his room after learning of raye’s demise; he still did it anyway. It had become a new force of habit.

He expected his room to be safe and unopened like it always was. Instead what he saw made his eyes widen. His door handle was completely straight instead of the tilt he always left it when he left his room. Yet the slip of paper was still stuck in the door. When he entered his room, he could see the broken pieces of pencil lead on the floor.

 _Someone was in my room._ Light thought, panic churning in his stomach. _Someone was in my room._

So he hadn't just been paranoid! It actually happened! The teen sat down on his bed and slipped his school bag from his shoulders, feining boredom. It couldn’t have been Sayu or his mother. They wouldn't have noticed the paper. So who could-

 

L.

 

Yes. Yes, it made sense! Raye Penber had been stalking him, because he was a Kira suspect. After the agents died, there was no wonder why the detective would suspect him. Thinking about the FBI agent, reminded him of Maki. How was she now? Was she able to contact the taskforce? The Kira investigation was quite possibly the most dangerous job to be in right now. Kira was more than willing to kill people in his way.

Light hoped Maki was okay.

There was only one thing L would put in his suspect's room, and most likely his entire house. Camera and wiretaps. As much as he respected the detective, putting cameras into someone's house without their knowledge was undeniably illegal. Though in a battle as bloodys as Kira perhaps it was necessary. But if a mind as brilliant as L’s became more monster than man, Light didn’t want to think of the consequences.

The teen vaguely wondered if Maki was watching him right now. Possibly. His father was working on the investigation as well, so that would mean…

 _Oh god, dad!_ Light thought.

If his father saw him fall asleep on camera, then it was all over. Then he would find out he hadn’t become less lazy! Then Soichiro would never forgive him. No, he wouldn’t let that happen! He felt a bit guilty for halting the investigation like this, but he couldn’t bear to not have his father smile at him again. _He couldn’t_. He left his room, slipping the piece of paper back into the crease, and leaving the door knob down at an angle. Just like he always had. L may be the smartest detective out there, but Light had tricks of his own.

 

<0>

 

L’s cake laid forgotten in his lap. His coal eyes were still wide, staring at the black screen in front of him. Things had started off normal, Soichiro’s son had returned home. Then the teen had waited in his room for a a few minutes, sitting on his bed. To the normal person, he was only bored. But L could see more. The teen had been thinking about something very deeply. Then Light had suddenly left. After about an hour, all of the cameras and wiretaps had fizzled out, leaving the screen black. Every. Single. One.

“What the hell happened?” Soichiro demanded next to him.

L didn’t need to ask that question, It was clear the chief’s son had something to do with this. With the man’s remark though, the detective noticed something. It was the only time Soichiro had commented on the surveillance. L had expected the man to make _some_ remarks. Surely he would have at least asked what his son had to hide. But, no. Then the detective realized another thing. Soichiro had never once mentioned his son. He would talk plenty about his wife or daughter, even though he wasn’t supposed to. Being a family man, he just couldn't resist it.

Yet the name ‘Light’ never left the chiefs lips. It so abnormal for someone who valued his family as much as him. L would have thought that the man would talk about his son the _most_. Light was as close as you could get for a perfect son. He didn’t partake in activities that many teens did, such as smoking or stealing beer from their parent’s fridge. The detective knew that personally, as he was still dealing with Matt and mello doing that very thing. The teen also had perfect scores, he was ranked number one in the country. You couldn’t get much higher than that. L thought the father would’ve boasted proudly about his son. Bragged even, in the way only fathers could. Yet he had never mentioned his son, almost like he was a ghost.

Like Light didn’t exist.

It was strange indeed. The teen certainly was an odd phenomena. The disabling of the cameras only solidified his theories. He must be kira. It made the most sense, who else would be smart enough to thwart him like this? His father had a strong sense of justice, and it must have been instilled in Light at birth. He was the only logical suspect. Yet now he couldn’t observe the teen from afar. L chewed his thumb while thinking of a plan. It seemed there was only one thing left to do now. If Light was going to disable the camera’s every time they were installed, he would have to study him another way.

L would have to approach his suspect directly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus the fiancee lives!! Thank you guys so much for commenting! 
> 
> And next chapter, what we've all been waiting for, the two cuties meet!


	5. Encounter.

L sat in his chair contemplatively. Analyzing the evidence that laid before him. Naomi’s theory that Kira being able to kill with more than a heart attack explained so much. Of course, it also left so many possibilities. It also was very frustrating, because now the taskforce had to look at deaths and wonder if it was natural or caused by the mass murderer. He was the world's greatest detective for a reason, though. He would manage.

What was really interesting was that apparently Light had the same idea. The teen was the reason Naomi was able to contact him in the first place. That was what confused L the most. Why would Kira give the police such vital information, let alone let her live? The agent had explained that she had given an alias out of paranoia; that could be the reason as to why she was not dead. The leaking of a clue could be explained if Light had told her at the beginning of their interaction. It could have been Kira taunting her, believing she would not survive her encounter. But no, He had told her right before she left. So why?

A big possibility was that it was a lie, that Kira could only kill with heart attacks. But try as he might L had to agree with Naomi and Light. The bus-jacking  _ was _ too strange to be a coincidence. A coil of suspicion squeezed him when he found out Light had been on that bus. The woman did agree that Kira was at the hijacking, but was quite insistent that Light wasn’t the mass murderer. The fact that the teen had been at the place where Raye revealed his name, made the detective think that Naomi would be cautious about him. But if anything, It did the opposite.

_ You can see it in his eyes.  _ She had insisted.  _ He wouldn’t hurt a fly. _

L wanted to trust the agent, really he did. She had been the one to stop Beyond Birthday, after all. But he was childish, and always hated to lose. Naomi was smart, but the detective wasn’t going to clear Light of suspicion purely on her say so. Even the greatest minds could make a mistake. All of his questions would soon be answered, he was sure of it. Kira was the locked door, and Light was the key. L heard a cough behind him, and turned his chair to look at the agent.

“You're going to meet Light today, right?” Naomi asked.

“That is correct.” L confirmed.

“I know I can’t stop you from suspecting him. That is your decision alone.” The agent sighed through her nose. “But…could you do me a favor?”

“Whatever doesn't compromise the case.”

“Be gentle with him.”

“What?”

“Light is as fragile as a snowflake. Investigate him if you want, but don’t break him. If you did... I’m not sure he could survive it.”

“It was never my intention to  _ kill  _ my suspect Misora.”

“I know.” Naomi gave a sad smile. “I can only hope you make the right decisions.”

With that, the agent left to go back to her work. Leaving L by his lonesome. The detective chewed on his thumb, considering her words.

 

<0>

 

Light stepped out of his house in a mixture of anxiety and excitement. Today was the day he was taking his To-Oh entrance exam. If he passed, he would be enrolled into the school. Then he would get a good degree, become a detective and maybe dad would be proud of him. If he didn’t pass… then he didn’t know. All Light knew was that his life would be over. He was scared of that outcome if he fell asleep while taking the exam. He wrung his hands together, letting out a breath. He smiled a bit when Sayu’s arms wrapped around him. 

“Don’t worry big bro!” She assured. “I bet you’ll ace it!”

“I hope so.” Light replied nervously.

“Do us proud hunny!” Sachiko said.

The teen waved goodbye to his family, who were waving excitedly back. As he walked to the campus, he felt his worry worsening. His family had such high hopes for him, what if he did badly? Would mom and Sayu hate him too? No, no he had to stop thinking about it. Being anxious only made his bouts of sleep worse. The teen stepped onto campus, taking in the people murmuring around him. Light checked his watch, and groaned a bit. He was five minutes early. Just great. The teen hated to stay in the classroom before exams. He supposed there was no use complaining now.

Light entered the building with a sigh. He walked through the winding hallways, following a small group of teenagers. They proceeded to enter a classroom. Students were already scattered around in the desks, sitting in their designated spots. Light got a number from the proctor and sat down In his desk. He waited a bit anxiously, just wanting to get the test done and over with. The last of the student’s trickled in, and the proctor shut the classroom door. As the other teenagers finally got settled, Light was trying to do the opposite.

_ Don’t fall asleep. _ He thought to himself desperately.  _ Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep. _

The brunette let out a breath when his exam was placed on his desk. He held his pencil tightly, inpatient to begin. He couldn’t mess this up, he wouldn’t mess this up. He looked at the proctor hopefully when the man walked to front of the room. The monitors eyes scanned the room.

“You may now begin your test.” The man said.

Light gladly flipped open his test. When he looked down at the questions he was expecting something soul wrenching difficult. But no, It was exactly the opposite. The entrance exam looked pathetically easy.  This was what he had been stressed over? Of course, it was never good to get cocky. So the teen would still be cautious. As far as he could tell however, he would be able to do the exam effortlessly. Being a genius really did have its advantages. His father would be so proud of him, he was sure of it!

He managed to answer three questions before he was distracted by the proctor. Light lifted his head to look at the man. The monitor was staring at something in the back of the room, like it had personally offended him.

“Student one six two!” He barked. “Sit properly in your chair!”

The teen’s curiosity was piqued at this. He looked back to catch a glimpse of this alleged student. Light's eyes widened at the sight. Student one hundred and sixty two was hands down the weirdest person he had ever seen. He could see what the proctor meant when he said that he was sitting oddly. Student one hundred and sixty two sat with his legs curled up. It was more of a crouch than anything else. The man had unruly spiky black hair, that sat in a mop on his head. His clothing was about as far from socially acceptable as you could get. Instead of wearing a suit like everyone else was, he was wearing a large white t-shirt and baggy jeans. At least he was wearing shoes, even though he looked extremely uncomfortable about it.

One of the student's pale thumbs was being chewed on. Much to the teens disgust. The thing that truly got Light’s attention though was his eyes. They were deep and dark, like two black holes that trapped you. The shadows under his eyes were much more intense than Light's own. Those eyes stared right through him, like they were looking deep into his very soul. It made the teen feel...something. He had felt this before, long ago. He couldn’t pinpoint what is  _ was _ though.

A little unnerved, Light looked back at his paper.

 

<0>

 

He had done it! Of course, the exam _ had _ been easy. But to think, he had gotten a perfect score! It was amazing, he had never thought he would be able to do it. The teen remembered how much his mother had squealed in joy, hugging him tightly when she had heard the news. Sayu had been Sayu, and wasn’t surprised in the slightest. Her and a friend had even made a bet that he would get a perfect score. Now his sister was one thousand and sixty six yen richer. It had been such a nice day. He got to choose what was for dinner that night, and mom had made him spongecake. It was nice to feel relaxed for that short time. He had been happy. Sachiko had called her husband, but...

He didn’t reply.

Light’s mother had frowned a bit in concern the next day when there were still no messages in voicemail. Sayu hadn’t looked worried. No, she looked  _ angry _ . It was obvious nothing had happened to Soichiro, if that was the case they would have been informed. His cell phone wasn’t broken, he had called Sachiko the day before. There was only one explanation for this, his father hadn’t replied on purpose.

Light didn't understand why they were so upset about it. It was obvious he had done something wrong. All he could do was work harder. Then his father would be proud of him someday. He had to. Besides it wasn't like it was dad’s fault. Even when he achieved his goals, he was still a good for nothing. And it hurt. It hurt so much. He tried again and again. He tried so hard, but it was never enough. Light was always so lazy. The problem was him, wasn’t it? He was always the reason Soichiro could never smile at him.

 

Maybe he would just be better off dead.

 

No, no he had to stop thinking like that. Light could never get his father to love him again if he did. The teen had to keep rolling on. Dad would love him, eventually. Right? Yes, he would, he had to. Light just needed to work even harder. If he couldn’t handle it, then he would never be worthy to be called a perfect son. The teen would become good enough for Soichiro. Even if it  _ destroyed him _ .That goal was why Light was sitting where he was sitting now. The auditorium was heavily crowded with people. They murmured back in forth about the entrance ceremony.

The strange man that had been staring at him during the exam, was sitting in the chair next to him. Light really hoped he didn’t have another stalker on his hands. Though it didn’t seem to be the case. The man hadn’t been following him at all, which was a relief. The teen didn’t know if he could handle being constantly watched again. However the blacked haired student clearly did have an interest in him. The student was odd, sure. He didn’t seem like a malicious person though. Maybe he was just shy? Yes, that did seem to fit with his profile. Well in that case, Light would give him a helping hand.

“Hey, what’s your name?” He asked.

The man looked shocked that the teen was interacting with him. “I’m Hideki Ryuga.”

 

<0>

 

This was already not going according to plan. The detective hadn’t expected Light to actually introduce himself to him. Well, L could always make adjustments. Besides, if the teen wanted to befriend him, it only helped the detective find his secrets. If this was a trick from Kira, then he would know Light was the mass murderer if the pop star just happened to die. Though L had to admit, the teen’s personality was looking less and less like Kira’s by the second. Yet at the same time, something about Light solidified his gut instinct. The detective could see it in his eyes. The teen was hiding  _ something.  _

L would find out what it was. Perhaps it was the guilt from killing so many people? Yes, that would make sense. However, the detective wouldn’t be surprised if that wasn’t the case. Light was the biggest enigma he had ever seen. He was most certainly a genius, he was the only one other than him to get a perfect score. Surely being a genius surrounded by average people would inflate your ego? Yet Light seemed almost painfully modest.

What’s more, a day like this would be one of the most important ones of your life. Instead of being noticeably excited, the teen was doing the exact opposite of what L expected.  His elbow was laying on the arm of the chair he was sitting in, and his chin was resting on his hand. Was Light  _ asleep _ ? Yes, yes he was. There had been reports in the teens files about him falling asleep in class. An incident of his sleeping habits had also apparently gotten him let go of the tennis team. It didn’t seem that the teen had a sleeping disorder, if he did surely it would have been reported? A possible explanation was that Lights amount of sleep,  _ or lack thereof _ , was even worse than L’s own. After all, being the world’s top detective had left him with a surplus of wealth. It was the reason he could afford so many sweets,  _ to  _ stay awake.

The principle of the university stood at the podium, and spoke into the microphone. “Now for the freshman adress, freshman representative: Light Yagami.”

The teen suddenly jerked awake at the sound of his name. He blinked in mild confusion, before seemingly realizing where he was. Light shook his head, trying to get rid of the grogginess. He stood up from his chair.

“Yes.” He said simply.

The man at the podium continued. “And freshman representative: Hideki Ryuga.”

To Light’s credit, he  _ did  _ looked shocked that it was L of all people who also got a perfect score on the entrance exam. However, the teen made no comments, and simply walked to the stage. The detective trailed behind him, observing his suspect. Light began to read from the paper that was handed to them, greeting the freshman. L could hear the murmurs of the students around him, talking about  _ them.  _ Judging from their expressions, not all of them were pleasant ones. Though the detective was a bit surprised to find that some of the disgusted expressions being directed at  _ Light.  _ Was it a case of simple envy? No, it wasn’t. L realized this as the teen handed him the paper so the detective could speak his part. There was a  _ history  _ behind this animosity.

_ What is going on here?  _ L thought.

When the duo finished their welcoming speech, they were met with the polite claps of the audience. Light bowed, and began to leave the stage. The detective realized this was his opportunity.

“Light? Light yagami?” He said in a hushed voice. “Your father is chief Soichiro Yagami of the NPA. Your respect for your father is matched only by your strong sense of justice.”

The teen looked understandably freaked out, that he knew all this. But still he sat in the chair next to L. Although Light looked a bit freaked out, there was a glint of curiosity in his eyes as well.

The detective wanted to smirk in accomplishment.  _ I got him. _

“You're planning to join the police agency when you graduate.” L continued. “Although you don’t have experience working on cases, your genius is more than capable of doing so. Now, you’re showing an interest in the Kira case. I’m impressed by your abilities and your sense of justice. If you promise not to tell anyone about this, I have important information concerning the Kira investigation that I’d like to share with you.”

Light looked completely flabbergasted. His eyes darted back and forth between the detective and the ground. “Oh, um. You want to tell me? O-Okay. I won't tell anyone, what is it?”

He turned to the teen, staring at him intensely. “I want to tell you that  _ i’m L. _ ”

This was it. This was the moment that he had been waiting for. L stared at Light, looking for a change in expression. If the teen looked frightened, then the detective could be pretty certain that he was Kira. If not, either had had hit a dead end, or the brunette was a really good actor.There were hundreds of possible responses L had calculated.

Blushing and looking away was not one of them.

Light yagami as more strange than he had anticipated. It made the detective want to learn his secrets even more. He had expected the teen to give a simple response. Yet that was clearly not the case. L wondered if Light had been a fan of his. Thankfully the teen wasn’t the type of person to be a raving fanboy. He looked at the detective bashfully.

“Are you really?” Light asked.

“Yes.” The detective confirmed. “I am not lying, Light.”

The teen coughed. “Well, in that case… it’s nice to meet you L.”

“Thank you, the feeling is mutual. The reason I chose to reveal my identity to you, is because I think you could be of some help to us on the Kira investigation.”

“You really think so…? I- Thank you.”

Naomi was right. Light’s self esteem  _ was  _ low. L wondered what could have made it that way. The teen was so talented, it would be impossible for this to have started recently. There were no records of traumatic experiences. It was highly unlikely that this was a case of an unreported rape; The teen didn’t have a problem when contact with other people. No this was something that had gone on for a long time, year most likely. It must have damaged Light slowly, rotting him from the inside. There was a great chance that it came from something personal, L mused about the teen behind him.

The duo stepped outside into the pleasantly warm afternoon air. The detective saw Watari’s car in the parking lot, and waved it over. Realizing that he was leaving, Light took the opportunity to say goodbye.

“Nice meeting you.” He said.

L replied to the farewell. “No, the pleasure was all mine.”

The detective went inside the car when his butler held it old for him. Before Watari could drive off, he paused him. L could always wait until the next day to do this, but a part of him was impatient. Light was interesting, there was no doubt about that. There was something about him though that was oddly endearing. L rolled down his window, and called out to the teen’s retreating form.

“Light!” The brunette turned to face him, filled with curiosity. “Your records said you were in the tennis team. How do you feel about a one on one match tomorrow?”

Light was clearly shocked. His eyes stared into the detectives, searching for any signs of dishonestly. His expression eventually relaxed into a small smile.

“That sounds nice.”

 

<0>

 

It had been so long sense Light had played tennis. He had stopped when he was a first grade middle school student, after he was kicked off the team. Sense then, he hadn’t bothered to pick up a racket ever again. He had realized how pointless it all was and devoted those precious hours to studying. Now here Light was, playing with L of all people. He should have been at his desk at home right now, but he  _ had _ agreed to the invitation. It would be rude not to go. Yes, that was the only reason he was here, the teen reasoned with himself. To please L.

He didn’t even have the proper attire for this sort of thing anymore. So he had to compromise with rolling up his pants and wearing a dress shirt. Light had to admit he let out a sigh of relief when he saw the detective. The teen was just glad this wasn’t a setup, like it had been with other people. Of course L being L, he was wearing the same thing he was the day before. Light dug through the sports bag, grabbing him and the detective a pair of tennis rackets.

“I have to admit, I was surprised Ryuga.” He said. “I never thought you’d ask me to play tennis, as a way to get to know each other.”

L looked a bit apprehensive as he was handed a racket. “Is it a problem for you?”

“Oh! Not at all!” Light assured him. The teen looked away for a moment, frowning. “It’s just been so long. I won't be any good.”

“If it make you feel any better, It has been a while for me too. But at one time I was actually the junior british champion.”

“Were you raised in the UK?”

“I lived in England for about five years when I was younger, but save your breath. Nothing in that story would reveal L’s true identity, I promise you.”

Light reeled back like he had been punched. Anxiety wrapped its fingers around his throat. Oh, no. He made L mad didn’t he? How? How did he already screw this up? The teen was trying desperately to think of a way to salvage this. He didn’t want to lose his friend because of a stupid mistake!

“I-I'm so sorry.” Light managed to stutter out. “I-I didn’t mean to pry! I just-”

L interrupted him with an almost apologetic smile. “It’s fine, Light.”

The teen let out a breath at this. Relief flooded him. So L still wanted to be his friend? Light was filled with joy that the detective didn't hate him. The duo walked to an empty court. It seemed that L was the one that wanted to serve, and the teen didn’t care enough to object. The man bounced the tennis ball idly with one hand.

“Well since it’s our first match, why don’t we just play a single set? First one to...six?” The detective asked.

“Fine by me.” Light replied.

L threw the ball high into the air, and striked. The tennis ball came rushing at the teen like a bullet. He didn’t even have enough time to hit it back before it was out of the court. Light gaped at the ball that seemingly betrayed him.

“Fifteen love.” The detective said simply.

“Woah.” The teen said, awestruck. “Ryuga, you sure don’t mess around.”

L gave a tiny smile. “He who strikes first wins.”

The game continued. Light quickly became in his element, with his hits becoming more and more violent. He found himself enjoying the game immensely. It had been so long, too long since he played. The teen had even managed to beat L a few times. Though Light was too immersed in the game to pay attention to the score. He could tell that the detective was calculating something. Perhaps L was taking note of the teens every detail, trying to connect it to Kira? Well, the man could over think whatever he wanted. To Light, it was the best tennis match he ever had.

The veil of being carefree was broken, when the detective suddenly striked. The teen went into action when he saw the ball coming. Light rushed towards it, yet something about the way the detective had hit it made him remember something. Something he wanted to forget. With a yelp, The teen missed. His eyes widened when he saw the ball fly underneath his arms. He skidded to a halt, taking the moment to relax. His breaths came harsh and labored. Exhaustion weighed him down, making Light cautious. He wouldn’t sit down, It would be humiliating to pass out in front of L. In front of  _ all these people _ . A loud voice broke him out of his thoughts.

“Game and set! Won by Hideki Ryuga! Six games to five!” Yelled a gym teacher.

The teen blinked, Processing what he had just heard. Was their match spectated? It was then Light noticed the large crowd. When had there been a crowd?! The people began to appaud L’s victory. To be honest, he hadn't expected to be so close to winning. But it was no surprise he lost. He never won at anything. Light gave a tired smile to L, shaking his hand.

“Good game.” They both said simultaneously.

 

<0>

 

L looked over at Light curiously. He had honestly expected the teen to be more competitive, yet he seemed more at ease than anything else. At the very least he had expected the Kira suspect to be more upset about losing, because geniuses were childish and hated to use. L knew this, because he himself was childish and hated to lose. Light hadn’t seemed upset or disappointed in the slightest, and that worried him. Instead the teen treated his failure like it was normal, like it was to be expected that he lost. It disturbed the detective greatly. 

Light let out a breath. “Just as I suspected, you beat me. Sorry I couldn’t be a better opponent. It’s been forever since i’ve had to play that hard.”

L hummed a bit in concern, though he would never admit it. “You were a fine opponent. You look rather thirsty Light, and there are some questions I want to ask you. Do you want to go somewhere for a drink?”

“You let me play tennis with you, the least I could do is answer some questions.” The teen said.

“Before this conversation goes any further, there’s something I must tell you.” The detective continued.

He was going to continue talking, but he stopped when Light stumbled. The brunette paused in his steps, falling behind him.

“Light?” He asked.

He turned his head to look behind his shoulder, and time went still for the detective. No matter how stoic L was, he couldn't deny the fear. Terror consumed him when Light suddenly collapsed motionless on the ground.

 

“LIGHT?!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, aren't I a douch to leave it on a cliffhanger XD
> 
> I'm happy you guys like it!


	6. Kindness.

L rushed to Light. The detective was panicking. He was terrified, terrified that the teen was another Kira victim. A part of him didn't want to believe the inevitable. The detective kneeled down next to the body collapsed on the ground. L sucked in a breath, hoping, praying that this wasn't what he thought it was. His pale fingers brushed against Light's neck, searching for anything that would disprove what his fears were telling him.

He could feel the thumping of a pulse beneath his fingertips.

L let out a sigh of relief. He let his arm go limp for a moment, letting the anxiety leave him. Light wasn’t dead. _He wasn’t dead._ It was clear that his collapse was not caused by Kira’s trademarked heart attack. The teen was lying on the hard concrete, fast asleep. It was obvious Light had passed out. But from _what_? Exhaustion? No, that didn’t sound right. If the Kira suspect had truly been exhausted from something akin to sleep deprivation, he wouldn’t have been able to play tennis so well. L remembered the teen had fallen asleep at the entrance ceremony. So did Light have a sleeping disorder? Yes that seemed the most likely, about a ninety seven point four percent chance. The detective wracked his brain for information, searching his memory for anything about it. Sudden bouts of sleep...fatigue… there was only one disorder that caused that.

 

Narcolepsy.

 

That was the only explanation. There was nothing else that could have caused the sudden sleep attack. While that one question was answered, it caused dozens of new ones to pile up. If Light had such a rare sleeping disorder, _why hadn’t it been in his records?_ Surely his parents would have gotten him diagnosed by a doctor, but that clearly wasn’t the case. As a result, the teen wasn’t getting the treatment he needed. How was that possible? It was impossible for even a genius like Light to hide such a strong disorder for long. Sachiko and Soichiro seemed like perfectly loving parents, so it wasn’t like they would neglect their son. Right?

The teen really was such a conundrum. He was both the source of all of the confusion, and the key to finding the answers. L hated the fact that there were such important details that he didn’t know. Luckily, there was hope. Light made it clear that he did desire to be the detectives… companion? Ally?

Friend?

He had to admit, the sound of that sounded nice. The teen was after all, quite a pleasant person to be around. He had not let his shocking appearance deter his search for companionship. That had to count for something, at the very least. However there was something about Light that made L uneasy. It was his eyes. They always had a veil over them, hiding something from the world. _They were the eyes of a liar_. The detective was determined to find out just what the teen was hiding, even if it destroyed him. It was the only way he could know if it was just a ruse to get him to lower his guard, or if the kindness was genuine.

L gently shook Light’s shoulders, trying to rouse him from his slumber. The teen’s face scrunched up, but showed no other signs of waking up. A worm of worry managed to burrow in the detectives stomach. He could see a pretty bad scrape on the young man’s cheek. L really, _really_ hoped that Light didn’t have a concussion. That would put a pause on the investigation, something that couldn’t be afforded.

“Light.” He shook the teen again, a bit more firmly. “Light!”

His eyes suddenly shot open, and he sat up. The detective gave his suspect some space, not wanting to be at the receiving end of an angry fist. Light blinked in confusion, trying to get a hold of his surroundings. He realized where he was, and his cheeks flushed with shame. The teen stood up, brushing off his clothes. His gaze locked onto L for a brief moment, before fixating itself on the concrete he had fallen on.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “I must look like such an idiot.”

The man frowned at Light in concern. “Not at all Light. But, are you okay?”

“Yes, i‘m fine. I don't have a concussion, luckily.” The teen replied.

L Looked over Light. “One of the scrapes looks like it may need to be treated. However, the place we are going to is bound to have a first aid kit.”

“You...still want to hang out with me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because I-.” The teen paused, the words died in his throat. “Nevermind. Thank you L.”

“It is no problem.”

It wasn’t a lie, L realized this in contemplative silence. He wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing. The detective had to admit, he didn’t _want_ Light to be Kira. The fellow genius was a kindred spirit, full of potential despite the murkiness of insecurity. The source of it couldn’t just be from his narcolepsy. Even if the teen had been put on the pedestal of perfection all his life, the disorder wouldn’t affect his self esteem that much. His parent’s must have explained to him that it was okay to be imperfect. What would have come out of it was a humble young man.

But Light wasn’t just humble, he acted like he was _inferior_. What could have caused this, L didn't know. But he was determined to find the source. So the detective supposed he could let the name slip slide, this time. His charcoal eyes locked with the teens warm brown. The teen that was both the tornado and the shelter, gave him a warm smile. The duo walked towards the coffee shop, and L had a clear goal in mind. The conversation he and Light were going to have, was undoubtedly going to be one of the most important looks into the young genius’s mind.

 

<0>

 

The place L apparently had in mind was a coffee shop. Light had seen it from time to time, as it was only a block or two away from the campus. He never actually went to it though. The only times he had ever really gone out, were at Sayu’s request. His sister hated coffee, so they never went there. The poor girl hadn’t been going places as much as she used to after the bus jacking, either. The seeds of trauma still clung at her, still, she was improving. There was no doubt that Sayu would return to her normal, bubbly and carefree self soon.

Though it seemed that the closeness was going to work in his favor. The teen was covering the scrape on his cheek, with his hand. Luckily, it was small enough that it wouldn’t scar. But man was it starting to sting like a bitch. At least L was kind enough to still want to go get a drink with him, despite the incident.  Light didn’t usually do this, for the world's top detective though, he could make an exception. It wasn’t everyday you got an opportunity like this.

L opened the glass door, and the duo was engulfed by the cozyness of the shop. The air was a nice temperature, aided by the ceiling fans that spun at a steady speed. A pleasant smell of coffee and the various pastries wafted around the cafe. The shop was a nice quiet, you could vaguely hear the clanging of dishes in the kitchen. Other than that, the sounds of other customers voices didn’t bombard you. It was nice, peaceful even.

A employee was working behind the counter. She handed a latte to a teenage girl, before turning her attention to the geniuses. Her eyes widened a bit at L’s appearance, but showed no further signs of shock. Most likely due to her attempt at professionalism. The detective didn’t seem to care in the slightest.

“Could you grab a first aid kit?” He asked, pointing his thumb at Light. “My friend fell and scraped his cheek.”

The girl nodded. “Of course.”

The employee bent over, reaching for it in a shelf under the counter. The first aid kit was set on the cold marble, and she opened it. Her eyes looked at them critically.

“How bad is it?” the woman asked.

L chewed on his lip. “Nothing too bad. A wipe and a bandaid should suffice.”

She nodded and handed him what he said. Light expected the detective to hand him them, and that would be the end of it. L always had to surprise him, didn’t he? Instead of doing what was socially acceptable, the man practically dragged him the the bathroom.

The teen let out a shout of indignation. “Ryuga!”

The detective ignored his protests, instead favoring to gently grab his chin. Light’s cheeks went red. Did L have no sense of personal space?! The raven haired man looked at the hand covering the scrape with a hint of annoyance.

“Light, please move your hand.” He said. “I can't treat the wound with you covering it.”

The teen huffed. “I’m not a child! I can take care of myself.”

L gave him a look that said ‘that isn’t going to happen in a million years’. Light’s face scrunched up in anger. It wasn't like he was a toddler! He may have been a lazy good for nothing, but that didn’t mean he could perform a basic human function!

The detective frowned. “I am well aware of that. However due to the fact that I am a trained medical professional, it makes the most logical sense that I would do a higher quality job than you would.”

The eighteen year old rose a brow at that. “‘A trained medical professional’? Seriously?”

“I wouldn’t say that I would be a flawless heart surgeon.” L admitted. “However I am more than capable of dressing even the worst wounds, using sedatives, and offering physical therapy. Now will you stop throwing a tantrum, and let me treat your scrape?”

 _Trained medical professional my ass._ Light thought. _He probably just got bored one weekend._

It was becoming abundantly clear that fighting the detective on it, would be more of a hassle than it was worth. The man was amazingly stubborn. Though he supposed being the world's best detective tended to give you an ego. The teen crossed his arms, and turned his head so the injured cheek was facing L. He let out a quiet huff.

“Fine.” Light said.

The man nodded, satisfied with his answer. The detective turned on the sink, running the water on the cloth. Then that traitorous gentle hand was once again supporting his chin.  Light blushed harder, and his caramel eyes locked onto the floor. He tried not to acknowledge the nimbleness of L’s fingers as he cleaned the scrape, just how carefully the man was making sure not to hurt him. It was so embarrassing. Here he was a teenager, almost a grown man, getting his scrape treated for him. As humiliating as it was, he found a strange endearment from it. As annoyingly unrelenting L was in treating the wound himself, it meant he had a reason to help Light. It meant he _cared_.

It was oddly relaxing. _Too relaxing._ To the teen’s horror, his head started to drop. He snapped it back up, forcing the claws of sleep away. Light grasped the sink tightly, leaning slightly against it. Damnit! Staying awake was about the easiest thing a person could do! So why? _Why was it so hard?_ His father was right, wasn’t he? He really was a screw up. The teen glanced at L, expecting to see a toxic glare. Yet not a drop of spite was in those charcoal eyes. There was something else, something foreign. There was a warmth in them, a sort of understanding. It was like when he had fallen asleep and fell on the ground, L had been _concerned_ about him. Why? Why wasn’t the detective angry? Light didn’t understand.

The man seemed to realize the teen’s struggle with drowsiness. His eyes widened when the pale hand moved from his chin, to the side of his face. L held his head so tantalisingly gentle. Light’s cheeks turned bright red, much to his chagrin. He must have looked like a strawberry at this point. It was all because of that damn palm that felt so _right_ against his face. It was so embarrassing, awkward, _mortifying_. Mortifying. Yes, that was the word he was looking for. This was probably the most mortifying thing that had happened to him.

There was absolutely _no other reason_ Light was blushing.

He was snapped back into reality by the sound of L’s voice. “There we go.”

The teen blinked when the hand left it's placement on his face. He assured himself that he didn’t miss it in the least. Light turned his head to look at the mirror, and indeed a skin colored bandage was covering his scrape. Well, at least it would heal in a couple days. The teen turned back to the detective, who was waiting for him by the door. The man stood in that slouch he always seemed to be trapped in, with his fingers lazily in his jean pockets. The person that was so annoyingly stubborn. The person that took time out of his day just to help him.

A smile grew on Lights face. “Thank you, Ryuga.”

 

<0>

 

L sat crouched in his chair. The table he and the teen sat at was almost secluded. Although it was the same way for every other table. They were all separated by half walls, that created an air of privacy. That must have been the appeal of the coffee shop. He knew it was why he found it pleasant, and it would serve a good purpose for his test. L stacked his cream cups on top of one another. He hated to have his coffee even a little bitter, which was why he added a liberal amount of sugar. Light on the other hand had only added one packet, the self destructive maniac he was. He looked at the detective with a calm smile.

“Thanks for showing me this place, I can see why you like it.” The teen said.

“Yes.” L confirmed. “I’ve visited it once or twice. It seems to be the best in the area, and if we sit here there’s no chance of us being overheard.”

It was a lie of course. He hadn’t actually gone to the coffee shop on his own, or any for that matter. The detective had spotted it from his limo seat, and asked Watari to get him a cup of coffee. It was certainly not the best he ever had, but it was satisfactory. Light seemed perfectly happy with his coal black drink though, so he supposed it was alright. In any case, it was the most convenient location in the area.

Naomi wasn’t exaggerating in the slightest, the teen truly was so fragile. He was almost like cracked glass, about to shatter with the slightest amount of pressure. L wondered, how would the phenomena sitting in front of him would react to being told that he was a kira suspect? None of the outcomes that played in the man’s mind were good ones. While the feeling from being told that would be awful for a normal person, they would pick themselves up and be motivated to prove L wrong.

 

Light wouldn’t.

 

The teen seemed to have a set belief in his mind. Whatever it was, caused his self esteem to plummet, and for him to have a extremely negative connotation with his narcolepsy. Light didn’t get motivated or even angry at his failures; he just accepted them like it was to be expected for him to fail. It was disturbing. L didn’t want him to continue through life numbly sad. He wanted the teen to know that he could succeed, he wanted him to smile. He wanted Light to be happy again.

If L told him that he thought he was Kira, he wouldn’t be able to take it, would he? The knowledge that the world's best detective thought that you could be a mass murderer, would be one of the worst feelings in the world. The pressure would only be worsened by the fact that he was the son of the chief of police, that high pedestal would suddenly be ripped away. He would become the suspect that his father would investigate. It could very well cause Light to _break_. If the teen was broken with that mind of his… L didn’t want to think about the consequences. So the detective would not inform him of his suspicions, it would do more harm than good. Though, the chances of Light being Kira were gradually fading into nothing. This test, would be the final nail in the coffin.

The teen in question gave a small snort. “Not to mention, we’re so out of the way here that no one’s going to give you a hard time about the way you sit.”

“I don’t sit like this because I want to, I have to sit like this.” L explained. “You see if I were to sit normally, my deductive skills would be immediately reduced by roughly forty percent.”

A spark of understanding entered Light’s eyes. “Oh, I get it! You sit like that because it allows easier blood flow to the brain, right?”

“Yes, however over the years it has become a personal quirk of mine.” he replied.

“Oh! I’ve been rambling haven’t I? Sorry.”

Making a comment was considered rambling in the teen’s eyes? He hadn’t seemed the least bit irritated when L dominated a conversation. When the detective had treated his scrape any annoyance quickly faded away. So it clearly was a rule exclusive to Light. L couldn’t stop the worry that squeezed him at that thought. At the implications. It frustrated him to no end that he couldn’t blatantly confront the teen about it. Geniuses were never that simple. If he asked the teen out of the blue he would push L away, denying anything was wrong. He had to gradually draw Light out of his shell, and make him realize that it was okay for him to be happy.

 _You can talk to me Light, I won’t be angry._ “Not at all, It’s nice to talk with a fellow genius.”

The teen gained a slightly bashful expression from the detective’s confession. “You really think so? Thank you.” His eyes widened with realization. “You wanted to ask me questions right?”

“Yes.” L confirmed.

 

_Who’s hurting you?_

 

“You are under no obligation to do this, but would you mind subjecting yourself to a test of your deductive reasoning skills?” He asked.

“Sounds like fun!” Light smiled.

L couldn’t help but smile too.“Alright then, we can begin by taking a look at these.”

He took out the three photographs, and placed them on the table. The detective made sure to leave the forth,  fake piece of evidence in his pocket. Light was already looking at the photos analytically. This would be the final test. If the teen even let a shred of something only Kira would know past his lips, L would be certain that he was guilty. Despite this, He really hoped that didn’t happen. He liked Light, truly and honestly. It would be such a waste to lock up or kill such a brilliant mind. It wasn’t just that though, L had to admit that he was very selfish.

He didn’t want to lose his friend.

“Photographs of three notes written by prison inmates while under Kira’s control, just prior to their deaths. None of this information has been made public.” The detective said. “You can take as long as you want to look them over, please let me know what you think.”

Light grabbed the photographs, looking at them curiously. He glanced quickly at the print number, and bit his lip in thought. The teen didn’t say anything, too lost in thought. This was the side of him that truly showed his genius. Light’s warm caramel eyes that were normally clouded with sadness, were hardened in concentration. L’s breath hitched when the teen’s head suddenly bobbed. The brunette shook the sleep off of him, rubbing his eyes. He laid the photos down. Light rested his head on the back of his hands.

“I suppose it would make sense that Kira could control his victims actions before murdering them.” He said.

“It doesn't surprise you? Why not?” The detective asked.

“I was involved in a bus-jacking a while back. The criminal responsable acted so... _unnatural._ ” Light grimaced slightly at the unpleasant memory. “He was Kiichiro Osoreda, a drug addict and murderer. Of course he was going to be unstable. But it was like he was a puppet being pulled by strings. Then when the FBI agent investigating me tried to help, the other hostages didn’t trust him.”

“They didn’t?”

“No, they were paranoid that he was an accomplice. So the only way he could make sure no one was killed was to show his ID to everyone: Raye Penber. The criminal hallucinated, and began to shoot at _something_ in the back of the bus. After that, he bolted out the bus and got hit and killed by a car.”

So that had been why the FBI agent had given his name. It wasn’t because he had left his guard down, it was an act of desperation. He was trying to save people. L could see why Naomi had loved him so much, he was quite the honorable man. The detective had been surprised when she had been willing to watch the security footage of Raye’s murder. It clearly hadn’t been easy for her, as was evident by the the wetness in her eyes. L would not interrupt Light, it was the most he had heard him speak all day. The teen leaned back, laying his hand on the table.

“After that, Raye stopped following me. At first I thought it was just because his identity had been compromised, but then I ran into his fiance.” The narcoleptic paused in his story, and his eyes caught a sad glint. “Her name was Shoko Maki, you probably know her. She was trying to speak with you directly. She told me that… Raye was killed by Kira. There’s no way It was a coincidence, Kira was on that bus. He controlled the criminal to force Raye Penber to reveal his identity. When that was done, somehow he made Osoreda die by getting hit by the car.”

Shoko Maki had been the alias Naomi had used, and it was clear that Light had no idea that the agent was lying about her identity. The story matched perfectly, there were no hints of anything that a bystander wouldn’t know. Plus, it wouldn't make sense for Kira to reveal this much information. Even if the interaction between the teenager and the agent _was_ a failed murder attempt, it would be incredibly foolish to bring it up. If anything Kira would want to distract L from it as much as possible, to stop him from being suspected. Yet Light let everything spill, because he had nothing to hide about Kira.

 

But he was hiding something else.

 

“How curious. You see Light, an agent that worked under me recently joined the taskforce. She just happened to say the same thing, and told be about someone named Light Yagami who had the same theory. Now what do you make of that?” L asked.

The teen looked shell shocked. “Maki actually mentioned me? I-I never thought that… I’m honored that you took her- _our_ theory seriously. Do you think it could be true?”

“It is quite plausible, but troubling. The knowledge that Kira could kill anyone and make it look like an accident… However I have little doubt in Maki’s sense of judgement. Judging from the fact that you came up with the same theory, I can say the same for you.” The detective realized something. “Oh, my apologies. I lead you off topic. Please, share your thoughts on the photographs.”

“Oh, it’s fine! Well, Kira is clearly intelligent. Of course, any normal person can hide a code using the first letter of every line. There are obvious print numbers on the back. Arrange them in that order and we get: ‘L do you know, love apples Gods of Death.’ However, that message is clearly incomplete. What makes me think Kira is intelligent, is that when you rearrange the message like this…” Light said.

He rearranged the photographs, showing them to L. “It turns into: ‘L do you know, Gods of Death love apples.’ Most people wouldn’t notice this, and Kira knows it. It’s a message for _you_ . Most likely to mock you. But if Kira is of the average intelligence and the notes were intended to be in chronological order, it’s most likely a distraction to slow you down either way. Either he intends for you to wait for a new suicide note until he completes... _something_ , or… more criminals are going to end up committing suicide under Kira’s control.”

“Your deduction was correct. You see, there is a fourth suicide note.”

L handed the teen the fake photograph. The false evidence hadn’t been at all difficult to create, however it was good to be cautious. He had made sure it didn’t seem like it was just stapled on, that it looked believable. Light looked surprised, to say the least.

“When you add this one it reads: ‘L, do you know Gods of Death who love apples have red hands.’” The detective said.

Much to his surprise Light actually pouted, crossing his arms. “Why would you hide the fourth one? Unless...”

L answered his question, with a question. “If you were me faced with someone who might be Kira, how would you go about establishing this person's innocence or guilt if you need to be absolutely sure?”

Caramel eyes scrunched in thought. “What would I do? Most likely trick him into revealing information only Kira knows.” His face lit up in realization. “ _That’s what you were doing!_ ”

“Yes.” The man admitted. “I hope you aren’t offended.”

“No, no. It’s fine.” The brunette exhaled. “I understand, Raye Penber was investigating me when he died. It only makes sense.”

Light rested his chin on his hands. His eyes stared intently at the table, lost in thought. L looked at the sight with a touch of sadness. He really did hope that the teen wasn’t angry with him. It was so odd, there were very few people whose view of him L cared about. Yet somehow Light had gotten him attached. Now whenever he thought about the brunette being unhappy, it made his stomach churn unpleasantly. He was going to be the death of L, and yet… The detective couldn’t help but feel overjoyed at the answer the test gave him.

 _You truly aren’t kira, are you Light?_ He thought.

With that statement, with that undeniable truth he felt in his gut, a weight lifted off his shoulders. L couldn’t deny the relief in knowing that he wouldn’t have to execute his friend. Yes, now there were so many opportunities. He could help Light. _He could help Light_ . Now that he wasn’t the detective’s suspect, forming a bond would be so much easier. Then when the teen trusted him enough, he could determine the person who was hurting him. When that happened, L would make them _wish they were dead._ The detective blinked in surprise when he noticed Light staring at him.

“L, be honest with me. Were you only pretending to be my friend so you could determine whether I am Kira or not?” He asked.

The very thought of that seemed horrific. “Of course not. It is true I went to you personally because I suspected you, yes. However, It has become clear that you are not in fact Kira. But you are perhaps the most interesting person I have ever met. Your deductive reasoning skills are truly amazing; you immediately thought of different scenarios of Kira talking directly with the investigator. I'm impressed. You'll make a fine detective, Light. You already make a fine friend.”

“You really think so? I’m sorry, it’s just taking a moment for it to sink in. Thank you. Thank you _so much_. I really appreciate this, and it’s so new to me. Because I…” Light paused, seemingly having an internal struggle. He let the confession slip past his lips. “Well I’ve… never had a friend before.”

“What?!” He said, utterly dumbfounded. “Why not? You are such a kind and understanding individual.”

The brunette looked down like he was the scum of the earth. “I don’t blame them at all, really. I mean who _would_ want to be friends with someone as lazy as me. It disgusts them that I get such high grades, even though i’m so _lazy_ that I fall asleep in class _all the time_. As you saw, it gets to the point that I pass out when i’m walking. It scares them, and then they avoid me. With that, and the fact that friends would distract me from my studying, I don’t even bother anymore. Why even try?”

 

L could feel his heart breaking.

 

It was clear that this was more extreme than he had imagined. Damnit, just how _long_ has this self hatred been festering? It wasn’t just loathing that he had narcolepsy, it was a clear denial. There was _no way_ Light didn’t know he had the disorder. It was _impossible_ , he was a genius. If he didn’t know the disorder existed when he first got it, he would figure it out almost immediately. _So why?_ Why deny that you have a disorder, and claim you’re just being lazy? Narcolepsy was incurable, while Laziness only required getting motivated to try harder-

Oh no.

Suddenly L realized what Light was doing. The teen’s abuser was clearly ashamed of his narcolepsy, which in turn made him ashamed of his disorder. The abuser was clearly someone he respected, so there was no doubt that he wanted to make sure that his abuser wasn’t ashamed of him. The only way to do that was to make the narcolepsy disappear, which was impossible. Although it was impossible to cure the disorder, _you could get rid of laziness_. This wasn’t ignorance, it was a defence mechanism. Light was trying desperately trying to win a battle he couldn’t beat. The brunette was doing what you did to stop laziness: working harder.

When working harder didn’t work, he did it again. Over an over. L wondered if Light reassured himself that he didn’t have a disorder every night. It was a heartbreaking cycle, because the more the narcoleptic failed, the more he hated himself. The detective knew that he was beginning to realize that he would _never_ be able to stop the fatigue, the sleep attacks. Once he did, he would realize that whoever was abusing would never love him. Light wouldn’t be able to accept the fact that he had a disorder, and would be utterly devastated. If the teen thought that he was so pathetic that who he loved would never love him back, and he self loathing was so deep…Then he would lose all reason to keep on living.

L had to find this monster, and he had to find them _quickly_. In the meantime, he would develop his bond with Light. Once he found out who the abuser was, he would separate them from the narcoleptics life subtlety. The detective would teach him that he didn’t have to be ashamed. Light was already showing slight improvement from L’s positive reinforcement. It was vital that he would find the detective as an alternative person he seeked affection and approval from. He would give it to the teen freely, naturally the person he seeked the most acceptance of would switch to him. L just needed time. He would give Light the treatment he needed, and the teen would gradually heal. It was alright, he was the world's top three greatest detectives. He was a genius, he was L. He could do this.

 

He could save Light.

 

“Can I ask you something of you?” L asked.

Those sad brown eyes swept over him. “Of course, what is it?”

“Your deductive reasoning skills have greatly impressed me. You see, there aren’t many members of the task force at the moment. If we had someone as gifted as you on our team, it would only be a benefit.” The detective let his voice go soft, as he let the hammer fall. “Light, would you like the join the task force?”

“L, it’s a nice offer but… I can’t. I’m sorry.” Light said.

He couldn't help but be aghast. “I respect your decision, but may I ask why?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I am interested in the Kira case but…”

“So you do want to help?”

“Well yes, but-”

“So why not?”

A distressed expression entered Light’s face. “I have to finish university! I can’t just throw away my future like this!”

So _that_ was what was distressing the brunette. Well, L was more than willing to accommodate. Honestly, he should have seen this coming. For someone like Light, doing things that he liked to do was selfish. The detective hoped his offer would placate the teen. Of course, if it didn’t he could still visit him. However, interacting with someone that was in the taskforce would be much easier to explain. Coming up with an excuse to visit Light if he was no longer a suspect would be a nightmare.

“I’ve considered that you would worry about that. However if you wish it, I can offer you something that will guarantee you an even greater career than what To-Oh would give you.” This was it. L hoped that his offer would be enough to persuade him. “Being the world’s greatest detective, I am very wealthy. I can easily afford to pay the tuition. It would be easy for you to enroll to Harvard with your intelligence, you could take online classes whilst helping us with the Kira case. How do you feel about that, Light?”

The brunette in question let out a breath in disbelief. “Harvard...?”

“Well, we can always change the university if that is what you wish.” The man replied.

“I can’t believe you would do that for me… I’ll- I’ll have to sleep on it.” Light said.

“I understand, take as long as you need to think it over.”

The teenager was hooked, L could see that clearly. The detective hoped he liked him enough to agree. This was a crucial step to getting Light out of his shell. The fact that he was offering to get him enrolled in the most prestigious school in the world, was an offer even the teen couldn’t refuse. Knowing how badly the abuser had his filthy claws in Light’s mind though, he might still decline it. L snapped to attention when his cell phone started to ring. Watari, he realized.

“Excuse me.” He said.

The teen’s eyes widened when his phone started to ring as well. “Oh! There goes mine.”

L held his cell phone to his ear, and Light did the same. The detective answered with a slight curiosity. “Yes?”

“Ryuzaki, I have some bad news.” Watari said with a somber tone.

The man couldn’t help the horror slip slightly into his expression. Why? Why now of all times had Kira striked? This not only was a tragedy, but it would affect Light greatly. How would he ever recover from this? He was already so fragile… L could see the shock and grief already sweep over the teen. Despite this, L had to say it. Had to let the truth settle in the air.

“Light it’s your…” L whisper, his voice sounding almost out of breath.

“Dad…” Light said, not wanting to believe his words. “He had a heart attack.”

 

<0>

 

It was like his worst nightmares were coming true. He had been so scared when he and L rushed to the emergency room. Light had thought for a moment that Kira had murdered his father. He thought for a moment that all of his hope of happiness had suddenly been ripped away. The teen couldn’t get his mother’s tone out of his head. The way she sounded like her whole world had been destroyed; how she seemed on the verge of sobbing…

When he found out Soichiro wasn’t dead, Light almost cried too.

The relief was more intense than anything he had ever experienced before. The brunette almost couldn’t believe it. He supposed he had gotten so used to Kira that it was abnormal for someone to have a heart attack of natural causes. Light winced in sympathy for his father at the thought. The case must have really been getting to him. He had almost wept in joy at the revelation that Soichiro had survived the ordeal, but he wouldn’t. Not ever. It was a weakness and a vulnerability to cry, and Light was not vulnerable. He couldn't be.

The teen was excited to see his father in good health. Yet as he and L approached the hospital room, he began to feel apprehensive. Would Soichiro even want Light to be there? Would his presence be nothing but a burden to the man? A coil of dread wrapped around the brunettes gut when he realized that was a _very_ good possibility. Even so, he wanted to show his father that he he appreciated everything. Despite what a useless, lazy, deadbeat son he was, Soichiro didn’t disown him. Even though he deserved to be. Light just wanted to show how grateful he was, even if it wasn’t through words. He would get his father’s love when he deserved it, he reassured himself.

Sachiko stepped outside her husband's room, a tired look on her face. Her warm brown eyed lit up when she saw the duo.

“Light! You made it!” His mother looked at L curiously. “Oh! Is this Ryuzaki?”

The detective hummed in confirmation. “Yes, that is me.”

“Soichiro has been telling me so much about you! He says you’re a great coworker.” The woman looked back at her husband's room. “Take care of him okay? I have to run some errands.”

“We will.” Light managed to reply.

Sachiko walked away from the pair happily. Her son on the other hand, was sinking deeper and deeper into a pit of unease. He swallowed nervously at the thought of his father's anger at seeing him. Not that Light blamed the man. Who would want to see _him_ after experiencing as horrible as a heart attack? Maybe if he saw L first, Soichiro wouldn’t be as angry. The detective opened the door, stepping inside the room. He held it open for Light, much to his thanks. The teen subconsciously made sure his father could barely see him behind L. He assured himself that he wasn’t hiding.

The detective greeted the chief with a small smile. “Mr.Yagami, I am glad to see you’re alright. What did the doctors say was the cause of the heart attack?”

“They said stress was the most likely cause, I guess i’ve been pushing myself too hard lately. In any case, It is good to see you Ryuzaki.” Soichiro’s relaxed gaze hardened when he saw his son. Light tensed up nervously. “...Light.”

The brunette wanted to curl up into a ball and die. He had been right, his father _was_ angry. Of course, he couldn’t humiliate himself further. So instead of leaving like he oh so desperately wanted to, he sat at a chair that was next to the bed. L sat in the one next to Light’s, in that strange crouch of his.

The teen mustered up the courage to speak. “I was scared that it was Kira for a second. I’m so happy that you’ll be okay.”

“Light, what are you doing here?” Soichiro asked sharply.

He had messed up again. Of course, it was so _obvious_. Light subconsciously shrunk into his chair, failing to hide from that piercing glare. Who would want to see him after being through something horrible? No one. How could he have forgotten that fact? It was such a simple truth, anyone could see it. He didn’t deserve to be loved. Not yet. Still, a part of him wanted to ignore that fact. Light wanted to try to salvage this.

“I-I was worried about you. I just wanted to see how you were doing.” The teen stammered.

His father’s gaze did not soften. “What you should be doing is proving to Ryuzaki that you’re not Kira.”

“Oh it isn’t like that at all Mr.Yagami! You see, Light has proven his innocence. There is no need for him to prove anything.” L spoke up.

Soichiro seemed to ignore him. “Have you even studied at all today?”

The brunette cringed at the realization. No, no he hadn’t. Light had just been so distracted by L that he had forgotten… No, that was _no_ excuse. To even think that it could be a valid one was so selfish of him. The teen had a duty, a promise he had made. He had _broken_ it. How pathetic could a person get? Why was L even defending Light? What the teen had done was so stupid and _selfish_. How could his father even stand to look at him?

“Well n-no. I was planning to after meeting up with L, b-but then this happened. And-” Light said, trying futilely to defend himself.

Soichiro interrupted him. “Then why are you still here?”

The brunette’s throat went dry. As always, his father was right. What _was_ he still doing there? It was clear leaving now and studying was the only way to possibly redeem himself. Although, could he ever earn the man's forgiveness? Light didn’t deserve it in the slightest, and he knew it well. Here he was the chief of police’s firstborn son, forgetting something so simple. Yet here Soichiro was, taking time out of his day to push his deadbeat son onto the right path. Despite how useless Light was, his father still _cared_ about his future. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve such kindness. The teen would make sure to make it up to the man. Light would make sure to study extra late, he could afford to miss dinner.

 

So why was L giving Soichiro that look?

 

“You’re right.” The brunette mentally cursed at how his voice came out in a pained croak. “I’m sorry, i’ll just...leave…”

Light got up from his chair. His chest and throat felt painfully constricted, no matter how he didn’t want them to be. The teenager knew how selfish it was to feel like this, but for some reason the feeling wouldn't subside. What he was going through was _nothing_ compared to what his father was. It was wrong to feel sad, it was like spitting in the face of justice. It was to be expected. Soichiro was just making sure Light would be worthy of being loved. So as he left the room, he tried desperately to ignore the stinging in his eyes. The brunette wondered what this sorrow was directed towards. Was it at his uselessness, or his father’s shame? Either way it would only make him more pathetic, so Light would not cry.

 

He would not cry.

 

He wouldn’t…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was 7,270 words. 
> 
> Please kill me. 
> 
> I hope you can see now why this chapter took so long to be posted! XD Thank you guys SO MUCH for being patient with me. I'm so happy you like this story! Your comments really motivate me, and make sure I don't give up! Despite how long it took, i really did like writing this chapter.
> 
> Also, I come bearing good news! I will be writing another Death note fic that will most likely be titled: "I just want to stay numb." Or something along the lines. The Light in that story will be a different type of tragedy that i'm sure you'll love. It will follow a different sort of aftermath from the Kira case. I don't want to spoil too much, but characters will include: Light, L, the Whammy's and...
> 
> Kira? 
> 
> Don't worry, it doesn't mean i'm giving up on this, I'll just be writing them simultaneously is all. These two fics will be my babies <3 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy the story so far! Thank you for the support!


	7. The silent scream.

 

L in all his life had never been so furious.

 

Dammit, he should have known! _He should have known!_ Now it seemed so obvious that the detective wanted to hit himself. Of course Light’s abuser would be his father! Who else _could_ it be? It explained so much of Soichiro’s strange behavior towards his son. Now L could understand why the teen had a strong sense of justice, despite his only goal being to please his abuser. It was because the one emotionally torturing him, was the damn chief of police of all people.

How could the man sleep at night, let alone do his job knowing what damage he was doing to his own son? The detective was filled with a strong self loathing, to think, he had once respected that man! Perhaps that was why L hadn't realized it sooner. No, that was _precisely_ why he hadn’t known what type of man Soichiro really was. Light’s father had been so determined about the case, and had been so passionate about justice. The man had admired the chief for that, that was why he hadn’t wanted to believe he was capable of hurting his own son. L had thought that maybe, Soichiro’s silence concerning Light had been an attempt to not let loose information that would get the brunette incriminated. Well, now he knew otherwise.

Physical abuse was unlikely. There were no bruises from what L had seen, and the brunette showed no signs of being afraid of touch. And no matter how much the detective despised the chief, he didn’t think even _he_ was capable of going so low. If anything Soichiro seemed disgusted with Light’s very existence, so he wanted to pretend his son wasn’t there. The man wanted to fire the teen’s father so badly, but he knew he couldn’t. The brunette almost worshiped the chief, if L fired him now there was no doubt his first friend would be hostile. He would push the black haired man away, and that would destroy everything he had work towards.

No, he couldn’t fire Soichiro, not now. Not only would it ruin the bond he had managed to build with Light, frankly; it would only slow down progress on the case. Despite what a vile, horrible man the chief was, he still was quite a valuable asset to the team. L just had to deepen his bond with Light, and help him heal. Once that happened, only then could he get rid of the chief. Once the brunette joined the team, which the detective was pretty certain he would. He was certain the young genius’s aid would be ten times more valuable than his father’s.

The thought of Light remaining so broken any longer made his stomach churn unpleasantly. L had seen himself just how much Soichiro’s word truly affected him. The detective just had to know how the brunette was doing, after he had left looking absolutely miserable. The man had caught a glance of the teen while he left the hospital, he had been sitting in the lobby absolutely silent. L in concern, had gently asked Light if he wanted him to give him a ride home. The narcoleptic hadn’t even looked at him, he just quietly declined. The detective didn’t miss how his voice had came out in a slight croak, or the drying tear tracks that clung to his cheeks. Light’s bright brown eyes had been dulled, and he almost couldn’t bear to look at them. Those eyes that were so hopeful and yet so sad at the same time.

 

Those eyes that reminded L so much of a boy called A.

 

No, not again. _Damnit not again._ He would not let the brunette’s life end with a noose, not on his watch. But what could the detective _do?_ Gradually separating the young man from his abuser seemed like the best course of action, but the fact that the one abusing him was his father certainly complicated things. Light joining the taskforce would be almost vital for the detective to help heal him. However, that would mean that the teen would be almost constantly around the chief. If L solved that problem now by firing him, he would ruin the relationship he had with the brunette. Because he didn’t _realize_ that he was being abused, so all he would think is that the man fired his father for ‘no reason’. Even if Light refused the offer the detective gave him, he would be alone out there with Soichiro’s brainwashing still clouding his mind. L shut his eyes in turmoil, _what should he do...?_

“Ryuzaki?” The detective snapped his head up at the sound of Watari’s voice. “What’s wrong?”

His butler and father figure was looking down at him, his kind blue eyes clouded with worry. He should have figured the man would have noticed, he _had_ taken L under his wing since he was a small child. Still, the detective was quite good at keeping his emotions hidden. How had Watari…? Oh. He looked down at the tip of his thumb, which he had gnawed on during his musing. The skin had been pierced by his teeth, and was starting to bleed. L winced, that was always a telltale sign of his stress. The raven haired man wondered how he would feel if his elder hate him, and nearly winced from the thought. Just thinking about it sent a coil of self loathing in his chest, to have the man who raised him _hate_ him… L felt his sympathy grow for Light, It must be hell on earth to feel that hatred for yourself _constantly_.

The detective truly was blessed to have such a kind caretaker, wasn’t he? He knew that no matter what, Watari wouldn’t betray him.  He had always been his shoulder to lean on, and this time, it was no different.

“It’s…” L started, finding it difficult to express his emotions even now. “It’s about Light.”

The detective could tell that the timeworn man had realized that this was something he needed advice on. The butler set down the tray of sweets he had been holding, and sat in the chair across from him. He rested his hand on his chin, giving the black haired man his rapt attention.

Watari’s eyes glinted with curiosity. “The nice young man you were talking about? Has something happened between the two of you?”

“No, it’s not like that.” L insisted. “It’s just… I found out who was emotionally abusing him.”

“Who is it?” The man asked, concern flooding his features.

“It’s his father, Soichiro Yagami.”

“Mr.Yagami? I suspected there was something strange going on with him and his son’s relationship, but to think he would…”

“Yes, it was hard to believe. However, the revelation caused many puzzle pieces to fit together.”

The detective sighed, emotions threatening to bubble over. He clenched his knees in a vice grip, trembling slightly. “I can’t fire him now. Not only would it ruin the bond I have with Light, It would only bring harm to the case. However if I leave it alone, Light might break from the pressure. He could… end up like Atlas. I don’t… I don’t know what to do…”

He startled slightly when a wrinkled hand gently rested on his. “You care about him, yes?”

“Of course I do.” L replied.

“A broke because he thought he was alone.” Watari said gently. “You’ve bettered yourself from the tragedy. No matter how much you may want to, you can’t force Light to feel happy. Just give him the opportunity to feel safe around you, just keep caring. Achieving happiness is a step Light must take on his own, all we can do is hope that his heart makes the right choice.”

“I know, but I can’t be with him all the time. I still have the Kira case to consider, I may be distracted. He could have a cataleptic attack and hit his head, or his father will manage to get alone with him and I might not notice…!”

“You said that the chance of Light joining the taskforce is very large?”

“Yes, around a ninety four percent chance.”

“I promise you, as long as he is with us I will make sure to keep careful watch of him.”

L’s eye’s widened. “You would do that for Light?”

“He makes you happy L, that is something that you need.” Watari said. “Anyone who is capable of making you genuinely smile just at the thought of them, is in my good favor.”

“Thank you, Watari.”

The detective couldn’t help but feel hope grow in his chest. With Watari keeping his eye on Light, he could know that any attempts of Soichiro trying to reinforce his brainwashing to the brunette wouldn't even have time to start. If it came down to it, any suicide attempts would be… halted. However, L would make sure with every fiber of his being that wouldn’t happen. Not ever. The young genius was his responsibility now, and the detective would do everything in his power to help him. With his caretaker taking on some of the task, the teen would be in much better hands than if he was doing this alone. Yes, with Watari's help L would heal Light. He was going to be okay.

 

Everything was going to be okay.

 

<0>

 

Light felt a strange serenity preparing the food. It wasn’t often that he was the one making dinner, his mother usually handled that. However, she was quite wrapped up at the moment. Not that the brunette blamed her. Sachiko was with her husband in the hospital, comforting him while he recovered. He was sure that Soichiro would be as healthy as ever in a few days, his father was one of the most determined people he knew. Shame flooded Light at the thought, honestly he could be so _stupid_ sometimes! What had he been _thinking,_  waltzing in the chief’s hospital room like that? The teen was still such a lazy good for nothing, of course the man wouldn’t want to see him. Who would _ever_ want to see him?

Why did Soichiro even bother trying?

Light stirred the boiling ramen absent mindedly, the pleasant smell of pork wafting in the air. The brunette was doing all he could to compensate for his uselessness, cooking was the least he could do for them. His soft brown eyes glanced over at Sayu briefly, who was chatting on her phone excitedly. His sister was talking to her friend about some boy-idol, again. He rolled his eyes, despite himself. She was such a _girl_. Sayu was so cheerful, so full of life. It made Light wonder why she went out of her way to hang out with him, why not be with her friends instead? Pity, most likely.

The teen sighed, now in a somber mood. The food was ready, hopefully now his sister would stop whining about being hungry. Light scooped the pork ramen into a bowl, It looked like there was going to be leftovers. The brunette would make sure to leave some for Sachiko when she came home. He walked into the living room, and Sayu looked at him eagerly. She said goodbye to her friend, before hanging up the phone. Light handed the dinner to her impatient hands, and snickered at her excitement.

“Here you go madam.” The brunette said in a teasing tone.

“Give me a break, I haven't eaten in hours!” Sayu huffed, before her face lit up. “Ooh pork ramen? Sweet!”

The brother shook his head at his sister's seemingly boundless enthusiasm. He sat down on the couch, letting himself relax. Light leaned his head back, musing. He would wait a bit on putting the food away, she would probably want a second bowl.

 _Let’s see:_ The brunette thought. _First I have to clean the dishes, then I wipe off the counters. After that I have to study criminology for two hours…_

“Light?”

He snapped his head at the sound of Sayu’s voice. The teen nearly winced when he saw his sister’s expression. Gone was her happy face, instead it was replaced by a small frown. The girl’s eyebrows were furrowed in worry, and she looked at him in slight uncertainty. Her brown eyes shifted from him, to the bowl of food she held in her hands indecisively.   

“Aren’t…” Sayu’s tone dripped in a concern that made Light want to curl up and die. “Aren’t you going to have dinner too?”

The brunette sighed. “Sorry, I’m just not hungry.”

“Light, when was the last time you ate?” She asked.

“Well…” He furrowed his brows, scrounging his memory. “I had breakfast, before going to see Ryuga.”

Her worried expression turned nearly horrified. “But that was yesterday morning!”

“I know, but i’m just not…”

Light tried futilely to explain himself, but Sayu suddenly got up from the couch. Before the teen could process what was happening, his sister stormed into the kitchen. He looked down at his hands, shame flooding him. He had messed up again. It marveled Light that she was so _worried_ about him, because she shouldn't be. Not ever. The brunette didn’t deserve any of it, so why was she always so nice to him?  His sister never seemed to care about his laziness, and he never understood why. Perhaps she wasn’t bothered by that sort of thing, because of her age. Light’s hands began to tremble slightly, he knew everyone’s patience had its limits. Sayu was not above that rule.

He was trying so hard to become someone worth loving, but somehow all he did was never enough. Complex equations were solved in the teen’s mind easily, problems were solved in seconds. Despite this, there was clearly something he was doing wrong. Because if he could find solutions easily, _why couldn’t he just stay awake?_ There was always the cloud of Laziness that made him sluggish. So no matter how much Light accomplished, he never really _worked_ for it. Soichiro could see this as clear as day, the brunette could tell. All he could do was work harder, and _study, study, study._ Then maybe he would become a _normal_ person, and only then would he be worthy of his father loving him. He would get become good eventually.

 

He had to.

 

Light blinked in surprise when a bowl was practically shoved in his face. The brunette looked up to see Sayu standing there with a stern expression, with a hand on her hip.

“Sayu?” He asked in disbelief. “What are you-”

His sister cut him off. “I’m not going to let you starve yourself!”

The pork ramen was planted into his hands, and he frowned at her. “I’m not starving myself.”

“Then what do you call not eating for over a day?”

“Sayu please, I’m just not-”

“Can’t you just eat a little bit?” Light was paused by the pained tone of voice his sister used. “Please? For me?”

He could never say no to her, could he? “Okay.”

The brunette looked down at his food hesitantly. There was definately a lot less than what was in Sayu’s, only about a third of his bowl was filled. He hadn’t been lying when he said he wasn’t hungry though. Perhaps Light should’ve been concerned when he hadn’t eaten at all since that morning, but he just never felt the craving. Even when his stomach had grumbled, the teen never felt that desperate ache in his gut. Just the thought of eating made him strangely nauseous, like eating right after having a large feast. However, he couldn’t make Sayu upset.

Light raised the ramen to his lips, and nearly gagged. The brunette forced himself to eat it, trying to not let the discomfort show on his face. It felt _awful_ , there was no other way to describe it. It hadn’t been so obvious to him before, but now he could _feel_ the food move down his throat. The dinner sat in his stomach like a heavy mass. It was foreign, it was _wrong_ . Light wanted to just vomit, _and get it out of him._ The teen somehow managed to eat a few more bites of it, making himself keep it down. He knew deep down that Sayu was right, and he really needed to eat something. That didn’t stop the experience of eating food that now tasted like nothing, from being absolutely awful though.

“Hey Light, switch the channel to Sakura TV.” His sister suddenly spoke up.

Light rose a brow at that. “Sakura TV? Sayu you know that station is trash.”

“Yeah, I know.” She said. “But Hayami just texted me, saying something crazy is going on there.”

“Fine, whatever.” The teen replied, rolling his eyes.

He did as the girl asked, and watched on in an almost morbid curiosity as words flooded out the TV. “-Our program director here at Sakura TV received four tapes. After a thorough examination, there could be no doubt that they were from Kira himself.”

 _Kira?!_ Light thought, horrified.

“Kira has instructed us to air this second tape today at exactly Five fifty nine p.m., and we do intend to comply with his demands.This tape should offer proof of his powers by predicting yet another death. Beyond that, we understand that it contains a message to all the people of the world from Kira.” The man said, pausing slightly as if for preparation. “And now, the video.”

What showed up on the screen could only be a bastardization of L’s alias. The name Kira in bold black gothic letters was against a white background, searing itself on the screen. The brunette felt sick to his stomach just looking at it, to mock the detective like this…

A horrible deep garbled voice emerged from the screen. “I am Kira. If this video is being aired on April eighteenth, at exactly five fifty nine p.m. as I requested, then the time now is five fifty nine. Forty seven, forty eight, forty nine… Please change the channel to Taiyo TV, the news anchor Mr. Kazuhiko Hibima will die of a heart attack at exactly six o'clock.”

“Switch it! Switch it!” Sayu exclaimed.

“I am!” he replied quickly.

Light had never watched the channel himself, there simply hadn’t been anything on it that interested him. It was a “news” station sure, but they never reported crimes. It was all cutesy stuff, they would only tell stories about the animal shelters, gardening tips... Things like that. To be honest, the brunette loved to hear about reports about criminal offences. The deeds done were disgusting, there was no doubt about that. However, there was something so riveting about listening to the news anchor talk about a recent theft or homicide. He loved to have it play idly in the background while he studied. While Light wrote equations, he would make hundreds of theories in his mind. Possible suspects would run through his brain like a factory.

Sayu however, had gone through a phase when she was nine. The brunette girl had become more completely obsessed with kittens and puppies than usual. Cute animal videos would be the only thing she would watch, and everything she wore had a picture of a cat on it. His sister had naturally become glued to that station, and often stole the remote to switch to it in the morning. Sayu had grown out of it, thankfully. But now Light supposed those childhood memories made what he was seeing all the more disturbing.

Kazuhiko Hibima was sitting at his desk, but it was _wrong._ His body was tilted back, and his head was leaned so far up that his face was looking at the ceiling. It felt almost unnatural , the hair-raising way the man was completely still. The teen shook slightly; _he was looking at a dead man._ The corpse sat there limply as his co workers shouted in worry, desperately trying to shake him awake. While that _damn_ cheerful music played in the background, a horrified man desperately waved the camera away.

Why? Why did that innocent person have to die? _Why?_

Before he realized it, Sayu had changed the channel back to Sakura. “-This is his punishment. I will present you with another victim. My next target is NHN TV commentator Mr. Seiji Komaizumi, who's scheduled to appear in a live broadcast. He too, has dared to defy Kira.”

Just like that, Light had gotten his answer. However, the revelation only sent chills down his spine. The innocent young news anchor who had his whole life ahead of him had died… _because he disagreed with Kira?_ How could the murderer say he was justice after he killed someone for such a petty reason? The teen listened on as the killer lectured on about creating a “Perfect” world, and tensed when he demanded opposite views to not be publicised in the media. This wasn’t good, this wasn’t good at all. Would Kira target the police officers now? Would Light’s family fall victim to the self proclaimed god’s “punishment”?

Damnit, why was this happening?! The killer had never made any indication that publicizing your views was punishable by death. He had always been some sort of boogeyman, never making himself known. The closest Kira had gotten to communicating with the public, was when he had murdered Lind L. Tailor. So why _now?_ It didn’t make any sense! The killer had been a menace before, but now thing was becoming something even more dangerous. He could easily become the most menacing tyrant the world has ever known. Kira had always been feared by criminals, and for good reason. But now, the whole world could be enslaved if L didn’t catch the killer soon.

“Should…” Sayu started, hesitating for a moment. “Should I switch it?”

Light let out a breath. “No. We both know what will be on there.”

There was a long stretch of silence between the two siblings, the only noise being the chatter on the television. A small gasp from his sister caused the brunette to look up at the screen. The camera’s were now recording live from outside the building, but that wasn’t what shocked him. There was a dead body lying limply on the concrete, curled up just outside the door. The resolution wasn’t the greatest, but he could see the man was wearing a suit. More importantly, there was a pistol on the ground next to him. So that meant the corpse had been… _a detective?!_ The only people who would rush to stop this, would be member of the task force.

Light bit his lip in worry, he couldn’t imagine what L was going through right now. To watch one of your allies die in front of you… How _had_ Kira managed to murder him? The brunette had never met the detective himself, he hadn’t even seen most of them. The only one he had exchanged words with was Matsuda, and even that had been brief. However from what he knew about L, he was very meticulous. Even when the detective had made the brash decision of revealing himself to Light, it was under very specific circumstances. The teenager was pretty sure that he was the only one the man had done this to, and that was the brilliance of it. If he was Kira, that would mean he wouldn’t be able to kill L.The detective had put a protective shield around himself, if he died right after meeting the brunette it would all but confirm he was the killer.

With that in mind, there was no way he would allow the taskforce to show their IDs to _anyone_. Did the killer hack into the police files? It was possible, but highly unlikely. If that was the case, he would have just killed all of the taskforce already. Light could see through Kira’s act easily. Even though the killer claimed to want to “work” with the police. The young genius knew what that would entail, no doubt he would want L to reveal his identity. If that happened the murderer would have almost all of the police on a short leash. He would have a endless list of criminals to slaughter, and if any of the detectives disobeyed they could get disposed of. Kira would no doubt just get rid of the detective right away, so the man wouldn’t be a problem down the road. The thought made Light slightly nauseous.

There was one strong possibility that would explain all of this, but the connotations were extremely disturbing. The brunette had always assumed that the killer needed a face and a name to kill, that was what all of the evidence pointed to, anyway. But with the task force member’s death… Was it possible that Kira could kill with just a face? So he had been wrong? Well, Light supposed that wasn’t too surprising. The brunette was never right, and if he didn’t clean up his act soon; he never would be. L had probably figured this out weeks ago, why did the detective even ask him to be on the task force? He would probably manage to mess up being the coffee boy.

There was a sudden roar of a siren that cut through the reporters voices. Light stared into the screen with wide eyes, wondering if he was hallucinating. However despite his utter shock, a very real ambulance drove past the camera, and crashed into the building. The glass windows and doors shattered completely as the vehicle crashed inside, no longer blocked from getting the tapes. More importantly, out of Kira’s deadly gaze. This had to be someone from the taskforce, who _else_ could it be? But L wouldn’t let any of the detective’s rush in without a plan, that just wasn’t how he was. So who could of…? A horrible realization sunk in, there was someone he knew that was brave enough to do this. The ambulance all but confirmed it, and Light’s limbs started to feel weaker.

 

_Dad…?_

 

His chest became impossibly tight, and he began to breath in short gasps. The brunette tried to lean back to calm himself, but he couldn’t control his muscles. He slumped over, head hanging. He fought viciously to move anything, but it was no use. Even his eyelids were half-lidded, unable to blink. Light was completely paralyzed, but his heart was ramming in his chest, slamming against his ribcage. What… What _was_ this?

“Light?” The brunette could hear Sayu say in something close to panic. “Light, what’s wrong?!”

He couldn’t open his mouth to answer her, no matter how hard he tried. Light had experienced a temporary loss of feeling in his muscles before, but _never_ like this. It had always been brief, nothing that had full on paralyzed him. There would be times where the teen’s legs would go numb, causing him to fall to the floor. Or sometimes his face would droop slightly, and his head would drop for a split second. Those were easy to explain as simple side effects of fatigue, but not _this._ His body tremored, and the voices of the news anchor suddenly became unbearably loud. Light was unable to even move his lips to let out a silent scream.

“Huh!? We're still outside Sakura TV, as you can see a police car has just arrived!”  

Sayu was shaking him now. “Why won’t you answer me?! Please say something!”

 _Why can’t I move?!_ He thought, clouded with terror. _Why can’t I move, why can’t I move, w_ _hy can’t I move._

“Two police officers have just collapsed on the sidewalk! I think we may be in danger, we're moving away from the scene!”

It was as if the teen’s body had been suddenly switched on. Finally he could move his limbs, and he gently slid out of his sister's grip. Light sluggishly lifted his head, falling back on the cushions. Relief flooded him, he had thought that the paralysis would never stop. The brunette rubbed his eyes, letting out a breath. His movements were slow, like he had just woken up. While mentally he had been wide awake, he supposed physically that was true. Light was trying desperately to calm his heart’s pounding, breathing heavily.

“I’m okay.” The teen managed to muster out. “I’ll be fine, just… give me a minute.”

That had been absolutely terrifying, there was no other way to describe it. He breathed in, and breathed out to try and calm himself. He thought he was going to die, thought it was all going to end in that horrifying state of stillness. Light fought to still the tremors, and looked back at the television. The reporters had fled the scene, apparently. Not that the brunette had blamed them. Well, there would be nothing worth watching now. Sayu was sitting right next to him now, hand still resting on his arm. He felt guilt choke him, and looked away. She should have never had to see him like that.

“What… what _was_ that?” Light’s sister asked in unease.

The brunette couldn’t lie to her. “...I don’t know.”

 

<0>

 

A loud ringing pierced the air, rousing Light from his sleep. He groaned slightly, the noise almost hurt his ears in contrast to the previous silence.The teen groggily got up from his bed, rubbing his eyes. Who would be calling him this late at night? He slid off of his bed, letting his feet lightly hit the floor. He went through the darkness, and over to his desk where his phone was charging. His feet dragged with each step. Light yawned, before answering the call.

“Hello?” The brunette asked tiredly.

“Hello Light.” Greeted the familiar voice of L. “This is Ryuga.”

His eye’s widened. “Ryuga? How did you get my number- never mind, that’s a stupid question. Anyway, what are you calling me for?”

“I just wanted to inform you that I will not be able to visit you tomorrow. There has been a recent development in the Kira case, so my hands will be full.”

A recent development? Light knew what that meant, it must have been about the incident on Sakura TV. There had been no other large incident with Kira as far as the teen was aware. And his mother coming home saying Soichiro had disappeared from his hospital bed, had all but confirmed his theory. He sat back down on his bed, fatigue still plaguing him. Light glanced at his alarm clock, wondering just how late the detective had called him for something as simple as that.

“Ryuga.” The eighteen year old groaned. “It’s three in the morning.”

L replied in a slightly more guilty tone. “Oh, did I wake you up? I apologize, I forget how different my sleep schedule is from others. I won’t bother you any longer…”

Regret filled him at the sound of the detective’s voice. Him, being his normal _useless_ self had gone and insulted his friend. The detective had offered him so much… what right did he have to complain? None. Light was just a lazy good for nothing, while he was the world’s greatest detective of all people! L had gone out of his way to warn the brunette of his absence, out of the sheer kindness of his heart. While it had been a brief irritation, now that he was looking at it; it really was quite a sweet gesture. And here he was, snapping at him. Desperation filled Light to try and mend this, somehow.  

“Wait!” The teen said quickly, not wanting the detective to leave on a sour note. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“Nonsense, the fault was mine alone. I should have known you would be sleeping at this hour.” He replied.

He was clouded with confusion, L wasn’t angry? This had been going on ever since he had met the man, and it was baffling. Why was he being so _nice_ to Light? Frankly, the teen had done nothing to warrant it. He was such a waste of time, so why was the detective trying to help him? His father had gone out there in such bravery, and was so committed to finding Kira. Soichiro had risked his very life to stop the broadcast and get the tapes even though he was still recovering. All Light was doing was draining resources, taking the safety he had for granted. The brunette hadn’t even managed to cure the smallest fraction of his laziness.

 

God, what kind of son _was_ he?

 

He had been hesitant on the prospect of joining the taskforce, worried about all of the studying he’d miss. Now the answer seemed so obvious, that Light wondered how even _he_ hadn’t known it. This was how he could be the most useful! The teen had to admit, he had quite the mind. Even if it was clouded by his laziness, it was still there. Maybe this way, he could help for once. Besides if he was a burden on the team, L could always get rid of him. The thought of the detective made Light smile, regardless.

This was such a selfish reason for joining the taskforce, but… he _liked_ the black haired man. The brunette loved to talk with him, it was so exhilarating. The tennis match was the most fun he had in awhile, it had been too long since he had been in the court. Light had resigned himself to a dull life of studying and people that were all so monotone. L was different, he was _interesting_. The brunette had been outputted by the detective’s appearance at first, he had to admit. But he sooned learned that there were logical reasons for his strange quirks, and that was so fascinating. He loved to mentally dissect that reasoning, those things that made the enigma that was L.

The detective had done so much with his life, and from the looks of it; he was still in his twenties! Despite this, there was something in Light that he thought was worth helping. What that was, the brunette didn’t know. A traitorous spark of hope wormed it’s way into his chest, was there something he had done _right?_ This was such a stupid move, and he knew it. Yet a desire that was so strong it _burned_ , coursed through through his veins. Light wanted to know, _needed_ to know what he did that got him L’s good graces. What had he done to deserve those hands that had oh so gently held him?

The teen was always working to fix the slothfulness that plagued him, but it never left. It was like a weed that would always leave him drained, something that would always grow back no matter how much he cut it down. The kira case was the key to finding the way to tear this sleeping problem up by the roots. Light was sure L would be able to fix him, and the brunette would be able to help them catch Kira at the same time. Plus, with what the detective offered him, how could he refuse? He had never thought much about university’s other than To-Oh, it was the same school his father had gone to. Going there was simply expected of him, and he didn’t argue.

But Harvard was the most prestigious school you could get into, and the most expensive. Light had never considered himself good enough to even try to enroll, and the tuition was so costly. The brunette couldn’t bear to burden his family with that, when he wouldn’t even be able to do anything to make it worth it. It was jarring that the charcoal haired man had offered to get him into Harvard, and pay for it on top of that. He had done it so casually, like he was just doing a small favor. Just how rich _was_ L? Even so, this was such a big thing to give someone. With harvard, Light could improve himself so much! The brunette understood why his father didn’t care about him, he didn’t deserve it yet. It was all so he wouldn’t be so lazy anymore, so he was sure Soichiro wouldn’t be upset. All the man wanted was for his son to not be useless, no matter how much it hurt. It wasn’t like he was _trying_ to make Light miserable, right?

“Ryuga, remember when we were at the coffee shop?” The teen asked.

“I asked you if you wanted to help me catch Kira.” L replied. “Yes, I remember.”

Caramel eyes glinted with determination. “I’ve made up my mind, I want to join the taskforce.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally this chapter is up! They always end up being twice as long as I intended DX 
> 
> Narcolepsy often comes with Cataplexy, and man it is SCARY. Most of the time it's only minor attacks, but when the big one hits it's like a scene straight out of a horror movie. You're totally aware of everything around you, but are completely paralyzed. I actually do a lot of research when I'm writing (Mostly on the psychology of abuse victims for this one ^^;) Fun fact: people who are extremely stressed or anxious often lose their appetites.
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments, it means so much to me that people like this story! I drew a little picture of narcoleptic!Light and L because he is just so sad, so he deserves it.  
> http://dragonluv5.deviantart.com/art/Of-Narcolepsy-and-Insomnia-625886305 
> 
> Ps: In my headcannon A's real name is Atlas because "Atlas and Beyond" just sounds awesome. (and it keeps in tone of the show's odd yet believable names.) 
> 
> ~NP


	8. Let me help you.

“So, what do you make of this, Light? Have you come to any conclusions?”

Light looked nervously at L. “This may be a bit stupid, but…” He swallowed. “I don’t think this is the same Kira.”

“‘Not the same Kira’? What do you mean by that?” Naomi asked, arms folded lazily.

The teen could feel the task force's stares weigh down on him, and fought the urge to shrink back in his chair. L’s face was blank, apparently deep in thought. Most of them were looking at him in awe, but he tried to ignore it. They didn’t know him enough to realize that he was a lazy, pathetic excuse for a son. All Light could see was his father’s stern glare, and tight frown. The sheer force of Soichiro’s cold line of sight, made him want to completely disappear. The chiefs scrutiny made the teenager feel claustrophobic, because he knew if there was a time he couldn’t afford to screw up again, it was now.

“W-Well, It's extremely out of character for Kira to use these kinds of victims for his killings.” He stammered. “And since we've established that he needs a name and a face to kill, it makes you wonder how he was able to kill that detective and those two officers right outside the television station like that.”

Matsuda gave him an amazed look. “Wow, that’s almost exactly how Ryuzaki said it! The chief never mentioned that you were so smart!”

 _Because I don’t deserve it._ Light thought.

His inner thoughts didn’t affect the rest of the taskforce, much to his silent dismay. Naomi looked oddly proud, a small smile on her face. She glanced at the other member's with a look that said, 'I told you so'. It eased the weight on his chest, if only a little bit. The teen wasn’t surprised that his father didn’t talk about him. He hadn’t really done anything that would cease the shame Soichiro had of him, after all. The other’s didn’t seem to hold an inert disdain for him, though. That had to mean there was something he was doing right, something he was doing that wasn’t warranting their disappointment. Light didn’t know what it was, but he held onto that possibility like a lifeline.

L chewed on his thumbnail, a satisfied smile on his face. “Just as I suspected, you came to the same conclusion I did, you did very well Light.”

The brunette felt a bit surprised. “Huh? You already watched it? Was this some sort of test?”

“I was already quite willing to let you on the team, and I have theorized myself that there was a second Kira. But it wouldn’t look good to go chasing after a fake Kira based on my word alone, and this was to dispel any…” The detective glanced to the side, subtlely glaring at Soichiro. “ _doubts_ about your qualification raised by certain members of the taskforce.”

He had seen the glance towards his father, how could he not? Had something happened between the two? Light didn’t know what could’ve made L angry at the chief, perhaps it was because he had raised concerns about if the teen deserved to be on the team? That seemed to be the most likely answer, the brunette knew the detective would probably hate to have his time wasted. He didn’t blame his father for doubting him, it wasn’t as if he had ever accomplished anything before. But for some reason L trusted him, no, L _believed in him._ The thought made Light’s chest strangely warm.

“I’m happy to be on the team, I’ll try not to be too much of a burden to you.” The brunette said, smiling.

“Nonsense, Light. You won't be a burden.” The detective replied. “It's decided, then. First, we must focus on stopping this copy cat. From what we've seen, he sympathizes with the real Kira but clearly lacks the sophistication. I think he might even be willing to obey the original. If so, we could lure him into a trap by sending our own message pretending to be the real Kira.”

“Yeah, that seems like the best way to draw the fake one out.” Aizawa said.

A bit of uncertainty grew in the teen’s chest, causing him to speak up. “Are you sure about this Ryuzaki? What if the first Kira responds to this?”

“I suppose we’ll have to cross that bridge when we get there.” L sighed.

Light felt trepidation fill him. The prospect of the detective’s death, was something that he hadn’t thought much about. He had always been a letter on a screen, a untouchable force. Yet after the eighteen year old had met L in person, it was so much more than that. Because every time he saw that messy hair, baggy eyes, and slouch, he was reminded of just how mortal the man truly was. No, what was Light thinking? L wouldn’t die! Just because the second Kira had threatened him, didn’t mean that he could actually kill the detective. He was probably the most careful person the brunette knew. And if it ever came down to it, he would always be there to take the bullet.

“Light, Maki, I want you to be the ones to play the part of Kira.” The detective said.

The teenager was going to have to get used to calling everyone by their aliases. He had only found out Maki wasn’t Naomi’s real name a short while ago, but wasn’t offended. Light had to give the former FBI agent credit, for having the foresight to use one. Anyone you met could be Kira, waiting for you to slip up. At least the taskforce was safe to be around, the brunette felt a bit more secure from that. If _L_ of all people deemed them trustworthy, then they must be pretty secure. 

It was flattering that the detective trusted him to pretend to be the first Kira, albeit with Naomi’s help. Self doubt that always clouded him began to creep up, what if he made a mistake? Light tried to dispel those thoughts, no, he _could_ do this. He didn't find acting too hard, especially when he knew what role to play. The man would no doubt check over what the brunette and Naomi came up with, so any oversights he _did_ make would be corrected. This was a relatively simple task, so he didn’t think even _he_ was capable of messing this up. At least, he hoped so.

Light felt a mixture of apprehension and excitement. “O-Okay, I'll try my best.”

“Do you think you could script a message from Kira in time for it to be aired on this evening's national news?” L asked.

Naomi turned her head to look at the teen, smiling a bit. “I don’t see why not.”

“Good.” The detective nodded. “I'm counting on you two.”

“I won't let you down!” Light grinned, appearing much more confident than he felt.

To the task force, it would have looked like he was speaking solely to the insomniac. The truth was that he was only half of the audience. The brunette had directed his words towards his father, hoping for some kind of response. Nothing. Soichiro was still staring at him coldly, with not even a slight difference in his expression. Light wilted at the sight, smile dropping. He hoped that the man would be happy after writing the script with Naomi, and see how hard he was trying. L thought that he could do it, so he hoped that he could do it too.

 

<0>

 

The detective held up their script in that odd way of his, with only with thumb and index finger touching the corner of the paper. His charcoal eyes analyzed it critically, and Light twirled with thumbs in nervousness. He and Naomi had gone over the script multiple times, and were admittedly quite happy with the result. They had written it with a more formal tone mixed with a hint of intimidation, just as they imagined Kira would talk. The teen was worried that the widow would have reacted badly to playing the role of her fiancee's murderer, but she had taken it all in an impressive stride.

L was the final judge in this, and Light hoped he didn’t hate what they had thought up. The public would be easy enough to fool, it was the first and second Kira he was worried about. Both killers clearly had no qualms about killing innocents, and that was one of their only ways of reading into the personality of both counterparts. So he and Naomi had to guess, and work with what they had. Light’s vision of Kira would probably be different than what others would of thought, and was admittedly quite frightening. He wondered how someone could kill so many and not even hesitate, could Kira be a psychopath? So many in the world praised him as their savior, and the brunette wondered if it went to his head. Did Kira truly think that he was a god? He shuddered at the thought.

“Yes, this is good.” L said, cutting Light from his train of thought.

His cheeks flushed a bit. “Thank you, Ryuzaki.”

“I’ll be the one to do the voice acting before you put it in your voice modifier.” Naomi said, looking pleased despite herself. “Do you think the fake Kira will respond by tonight?”

The detective sat down on a chair across from them, rolling his thumb on his lips absentmindedly. “Unlikely, I am suspecting a response tomorrow. There’s around a seventy-two percent chance that it will be during the morning or early afternoon, it all depends on how long it takes this second Kira to prepare.”

 

<0>

 

It was odd hearing their script on the news, knowing that it was being exposed for all the world to see. Light was still nervous about Kira, and he wasn’t sure if that was a thing that would ever change. It was somewhat comforting to the brunette though, that L was working with them. The detective just had that effect on him, although he still wasn’t completely sure why. It was clear that his presence didn’t alleviate much of the stress the other members felt. They all seemed exhausted, their eyes baggy and bloodshot. Even Matsuda seemed slowed by grogginess, struggling to stay awake in his chair.

Light wasn’t doing much better himself, and he yawned. He was always clouded by fatigue, a constant tiredness that wouldn’t go away. The brunette had grown used to it as the years had passed, it simply became the norm. Of course, that didn’t mean he was immune to the effects of staying awake too long. He would have thought that with his inability to do something as simple as stay awake, that he would at the very least feel some of his tiredness fade. Yet the fatigue, the random bouts of sleep, never left Light no matter what he did.

L on the other hand, did not seem affected at all. Or at least, not any more than he usually was. The teen looked at the stack of clean plates and bowls that sat next to the man apprehensively, each of which had once held a sweet of some kind. That was the most likely culprit, the detective ate enough sugar in a day to feed an army. Light wondered if L would be able to stay awake for days because of his diet. Surely not, right? Everyone had to sleep sometime, and he didn’t think sweets alone would be enough to cause that. There was likely another factor that the brunette just didn’t know about, he hadn’t known the detective for too long after all.

Light sighed, he just hoped L wouldn’t end up getting himself killed. He knew that the man was smart, a genius even. Being the world's best detective though, must have given him an ego. The teen was afraid that pride of his was going to be the death of the man. That wasn’t even taking into account the frightening messages from the second Kira, which had demanded that L appear on TV. Light drummed his fingers on the table nervously, heart thumping behind his chest. His tired eyes shifted to the one that he feared for the most.

The detective glanced at the exhausted taskforce. “Well, it has gotten late. Go home everyone, we have a long day tomorrow.”

The members sighed in relief, getting up from the chairs they were sat in. Matsuda stretched his arms, yawning loudly. Aizawa rubbed his eyes, clearly annoyed with the young man’s antics. Mogi seemed more relaxed, but was silent like always. Light’s father didn’t look affected, holding the same stoic expression. That cold gaze grazed over the teen for a brief moment, and he involuntarily flinched. He got up to leave as well, grateful he would finally be able to go to bed. Naomi held open the door, before giving L a small wave of goodbye with a tired smile on her face.

“Goodnight Ryuzaki.” She said.

Light was about to go after them, but paused. The worry was eating him alive, and he doubted that he could sleep until it was put to rest. It was stupid, it wasn’t like L simply claiming something would actually affect the outcome. Yet hearing the words leave the detective’s mouth, hearing those assurances, would make his heart calm a bit. If L confirmed his fears, then at the very least he would be able to prepare. Then maybe, drag the raven haired man out of it by the ear. If the detective instead calmed his concern, then everything would be better. If only a little bit.

Light licked his lips nervously. “Hey, Ryuzaki?”

“Yes Light?” He asked, curiosity glinting in his eyes.

“You… aren't actually going to do it, are you?” The brunette asked, voice soft. “You aren’t going to go on television and let the second Kira murder you... right?”

L’s eyes widened a bit, as though he was surprised that someone was showing concern for his safety. Then the detective sighed through his nose, and a small smile grew on his face. “It won’t come to that. I’ll find a workaround, I always do.”

Light matched the man’s smile, his posture becoming noticeably more relaxed. He was grateful to hear L’s words of assurance, it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. If the detective was sure that everything would be fine, that he would be okay… Then he wanted to believe it, too. After all, he was L. The brunette would be shocked if he found out that he was ever wrong about anything. Light gave a quick bow of thanks, murmuring a ‘goodnight’ before turning to leave. His body suddenly froze at what he saw.

The taskforce was gone.

 

 _Dad_ was gone.

 

The teen’s eyes widened in disbelief, shock catching him off guard. Yet what lay in front of him refused to change, it was a static force that choked him. Soichiro had simply left him behind, leaving the hotel room without a second glance. No, no it was okay. If Light hurried, then he could catch up with him. The brunette fumbled with the door's handle, and rushed out of the room. For some reason his hands just wouldn’t stop shaking, and it only seemed to worsen when he saw that the hallway was empty as well.

“H-hey!” He called out, voice echoing in the silent building. “Wait up!”

There was no response, and Light’s heart sunk. But it fine, he understood, really. It was really late, so his dad was probably really tired. It was really no surprise that he would forget about Light, it wasn’t like he deserved it anyway. No matter how much the others would praise him, it felt… wrong somehow. It almost felt like he was cheating, what had he done to earn the good marks? The compliments? Nothing. He had never done anything, that would truly deserve or warrant someone’s attention. Light had always tried, he tried so hard! Yet no matter what the teen did, he could never do anything right.

He suddenly fell to the floor with a yelp, just barely managing to catch himself. The carpet had partially cushioned his fall, but it barely registered in his mind. Light shakily pushed himself up, breath wavering. This hadn’t been this first time something like this had happened, but why _now?_ The brunette couldn’t afford it, not at a time so crucial. The teen tried desperately to stand back up, but his legs just refused to move. A violent shudder ran through him, and he tried again. No matter how much he fought it, he still couldn’t control the limbs. His eyes began to burn, and his vision went blurry.  

Light’s voice came out weary, a quiet croak calling out for someone he knew wasn’t going to come. “Please don’t…”

The brunette didn’t try to get up again, what was the point? He knew that Soichiro wouldn’t be waiting at his car, he was probably already gone. Why would he _ever_ bother staying behind for him? No matter how much Light wanted to change it, the truth would always stay the same. His father was always no-nonsense, he didn’t baby his children. The chief expected them to be able to take care of themselves, and he couldn’t even do that! Here the teen was sitting pathetically on the floor, unable to even stand up on his own.

Light just wanted Soichiro to smile at him again, to give some indication that he was on the way of doing something right. That he _could_ do something right.  Yet the teen couldn’t, no matter what he did. His fingers gripped the carpet beneath him tightly, trembling. It was wrong to feel sad, and Light berated himself for the tightness in his throat that refused to leave. It was true, wasn’t it? The brunette was just a waste of resources. He had so much potential, but he was such a screw-up that he managed to throw it all down the drain. People like him…

 

_Should just go and die._

 

“Light?” A voice called out.

Light looked back to see L, who was standing just outside of his hotel room. The detective’s eyes widened, when he seemed to process that the brunette was on the floor. A deep mortification filled him, and he desperately tried to get up. It was no use, he legs just refused to move. His face went red, and he looked away. L shouldn’t have seen him like this, there was no telling how the man would act. Would he realize how useless Light really was, and make him leave the taskforce? The brunette clenched his eyes shut, almost too afraid to even look at the detective again.

A gentle hand touched his shoulder, causing him to open his eyes and see L’s concerned face. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” Light breathed out, swallowing and nodding slowly. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Can you walk?” The detective asked, charcoal eyes carefully scanning him over.

His voice came out trembling. “N-no I can't. My legs...  my legs won't…” He looked down, shame flooding him so much that he wanted to _die._

The teen heard a small thump on the floor, causing his caramel eyes to look at the source of it through the fringe of his bangs. Much to his surprise, L was sitting on the carpet next to him. What really shook him though, was that the detective didn’t seem the least bit annoyed. Light knew that L did not like things that slowed him down, it had been made apparent when he had been annoyed at his father. So why was he sitting on the _floor_ with him of all places, why wasn’t he mad? The teen didn’t understand.

“Has this happened before?” L asked, voice soft.

“S-sometimes yeah.” Light confessed with shame, frown deepening. “It usually goes away after a minute or two.”

The detective shifted a bit closer, his shoulders noticeably more relaxed. “I’m glad; I don’t like seeing my friend hurt.”

If he saw how much his words affected Light, he didn’t show it. L opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated. The teen was put off guard as well, there was something almost surreal about all this. Yet as the detective said it, the reality came crashing down. _Friend_ . L considered him his _friend_ . Even at coffee shop, the man hadn’t blatantly said it out loud. It had been implied yes, but Light didn’t think he would consider him a friend _back._ The brunette had wished it, wished it down to his very core. The fact that L considered him interesting enough to be around, or perhaps even an _equal_ , seemed impossible. Even now, it was hard to comprehend.

“Light, I hope you know that I wouldn’t mind if you stayed in my hotel room tonight.” The insomniac said, moving to get up from the floor.

A part of him wanted to say yes, and he tried his best to squash it. A self-loathing filled Light, so thick and dark as if it was oil in the pit of his stomach. The brunette felt shame just from even considering it, so much that he wanted to throw up. He wanted to kill that traitorous thought, bury it so deep he would never think it again.

 _I don’t deserve it._ The phrase burned itself into his skull, refusing to let go. _I **know** that I don’t deserve it. _

“No, I’m… I’m fine.” Light murmured, he knew it was true. He would be fine, he always was. He didn’t deserve such kindness, not yet. “I’ll just call a taxi and… get home from there.”

L shook his head insistently. “It’s half past midnight, it would be incredibly irresponsible of me to let you leave alone when it’s so late.”

“H-hey! I’m not a kid.” The brunette exclaimed indignantly, a blush dusting his cheeks. “I can take care of myself.”

The detective eye’s softened. “Now where have I heard that before? I don’t think you even _have_ money on you for a taxi.” He hovered over the teen almost protectively. “Your home is around three miles away, and the streets can be dangerous at night.”

“Ryuuzaki, i’ll be fine…”

“Light, _please_ .” He sucked in a breath in shock, because L _never_ said anything like this. Yet the man kneeled down, as if he was consciously making an effort to appear as non threatening as possible. A pale hand reached out in offering, waiting for Light to take it. “Let me help you.”

The brunette hesitated, frozen in place. Deep down, he knew that L was right. He was always right. Light knew the dangers of being alone at night, because that was when criminals were the most active. The teen could be mugged, or worse, if he happened upon one of these people. What if he had a sleep attack? He would have no way of knowing. That was the thing, wasn’t it? He _didn’t_ know if one would strike without warning on his way home, how could he? Light never knew when his consciousness would slip uncontrollably from him.

It was one of the things he hated most about himself. After all, what kind of person couldn’t stay awake when _walking?_ Yet it was more than that, because he didn’t _just_ despise it. It was undoubtedly the thing that terrified him the most. Everyday Light was scared, scared of the next time that sleep would ambush him. That when it did, his head would crack on the ground, and he would never wake up again. It was always something the teenager had dealt with, and had did what he could to work around it.

It was shameful to think about it, the fact that he needed to carefully plan his schedule because of such a simple thing. That's why Light hated asking for help, it was something he shouldn’t _need_ help with! He was always reminded of this, when his father was too ashamed to even look him in the eye. Yet a part of him yearned for it so badly, because he was just so _tired._

For some reason Light just couldn’t decipher, L never seemed the least bit burdened by him. The detective was practically begging him to let him help, how could he say _no_ to that? He sucked in a shaking breath, raising his hand slightly, but hesitated. Was it really okay? Could he let himself rest, just this once? Light had been fighting the unrelenting battle for so long, never seeming to get any closer to beating it. But L, he would know what to do. How to make him better again. Because the man had decided that he was worth saving, even if the brunette didn’t think the same. He just didn’t want to fight it alone, not anymore.

  
Tentatively, as if he was afraid it would disappear, Light’s hand curled around L’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soichiro's fucks given= 0
> 
> But seriously guys, thank you so much for the support! It means so much to see your comments and kudos! I never thought my fic would get this popular. Sorry for the wait! <3
> 
> My tumblr is where you can see my art and fandom splurges! http://nocturneproductions.tumblr.com/


	9. Sight

Light shifted, and sleep slowly started to leave him. The bed’s mattress was probably the softest one he had ever laid on, and he had practically passed out the moment he laid on it. L never did accept anything under five stars, did he? The brunette let out a pleased breath, enjoying the comfortable sheets, and the large comforter that was wrapped around him in a warm cocoon. He kept his eyes shut, hoping to return to his blissful slumber. Light wrapped his arms around one of the pillows, burying his face into it. Yes, he couldn’t say he would be too upset if he never had to leave this bed.

Yet he never got the welcomed silence to allow this; the continued tapping of a keyboard chased it away. The brunette begrudgingly opened his eyes, and flinched at the bright light that assaulted them. He groggily pushed himself up, but it felt as though the whole world’s weight was on his shoulders. Light managed to sit up, letting his feet hit the floor. He rubbed his eyes in exhaustion, barely managing to keep them open. L was the source of the noise, which was to be expected. The brunette could see him sitting on a couch, typing on a keyboard. The detective glanced over to the bed, and smiled when he saw that he was awake.

“Ah, good morning Light.” He said.

A muffled groan was all that was able to leave his mouth. “Coffee…”

“Don’t worry.” L looked vaguely amused. “I’ll have Watari bring you a cup.”

Light lifted himself off the bed, stumbling over to the man. He practically collapsed to the spot next to him, falling onto the plush cushions. The brunette let his head fall back, letting out a sigh and closing his eyes. He absolutely hated mornings, they were always the hardest part of the day. It was as if his body was demanding him to just stay in bed, to never wake up. It was a battle Light constantly fought throughout the day, trying desperately to resist the pull to unconsciousness. However there was no doubt that trying to get his body to cooperate enough to just allow him to start the day, was the most difficult.

“Mr. Yagami.”

The brunette cracked open his caramel eyes, to see Watari standing in front of him. The butler was carrying a tray, on it was some sugar cubes, a coffee cup, and a whole pot filled with the sweet nectar. He sat forward in anticipation, as he sat it down on the coffee table. Relief and joy flooded Light’s system; he knew that without his morning cup he would never make it through the day. Watari sure worked fast didn’t he? Pastries already surrounded L’s laptop, with many of the bowls and plates empty. Well, he supposed the world’s best detective would need the world’s best butler.

The brunette smiled tiredly at him. “Thank you, Watari.”

“Ah, it was my pleasure, sir.” The man replied, beaming.

He walked away, apparently off to do some other butler-esque duty. What exactly that was, Light didn’t know. Perhaps Watari was going to iron some of L’s shirts or something, did the detective even have more than one type of shirt? The brunette mused over this, as he groggily dropped his mandatory two sugars into his mug. He raised the coffee to his lips, appreciating the feeling of its warmth seeping into his fingers. He sipped it, anticipating his life saver’s precious energy giving caffeine.

“Not a morning person, I imagine?” L commented, looking skeptically at the coffee as though it had personally offended him.

“What’s making you glare daggers at my drink?” Light snickered.

The detective's eyes widened a bit, before he gave a sigh of amusement. “Oh, I’ve just never understood how a person can drink coffee like that.”

“It’s down to personal preference.” The brunette shrugged. “It’s not like I can really afford to have something that’s not really strong, anyway.”

His expression turned contemplative, hinted with an edge of somberness. A part of him wondered what he was thinking about, but he gave up on that trail of thought quickly. Light knew that he had no hope of guessing what went on in the detective's head, without the slightest hint of clues. He let himself lean back, simply enjoying the warm beverage as the caffeine gradually began to wake him up. The teen just wanted to let himself have a moment of relaxation, before the demanding force of the Kira case took over the rest of the day. His eyes suddenly widened, and snapped his head towards L.

“Wait, what time is it?” He asked.

The detective gave him a reassuring look. “Don’t worry, it’s only seven, we don’t work on the case until eight. I would have woken you up, otherwise.”

“Oh, good.” Light let out a breath in relief. “Guess I’m just really used to waking up early.”

“From school, I imagine?”

“Oh, don’t even get me started.”

L gave a weak smile, but it faded quickly. The brunette set down his mug; he reached out to help himself to a bagel that Watari had the foresight to add, but felt nauseous at the sight of it and pushed it away. His mood was dampened a bit, at the detective’s mention of school. It wasn't as if the classes themselves were what made the experience unpleasant, even if they were boring. All he had wanted to do, was be as hidden as possible. It was why he sat in the very back, where he would be the most unnoticed. It was better that way, to not have attention brought on himself.

“Light, do you mind if I ask you something?” L suddenly asked.

Light perked up a bit in curiosity. “Sure, what is it?”

“When I went to your college ceremony, having glares and disgusted expressions targeted at me was to be expected.” He hesitated a bit. “But, many of your classmates were casting those looks towards you. I suppose, I just don’t understand why they appeared to have such an animosity towards you.”

“What…? Oh- no! It wasn’t like that!” The brunette stammered.

The detective looked at him with a hint of concern, as he brought yet another pastry up to his lips. “Then what was their attitude towards you?”

“They just ignored me, mostly. I mean, Sudo would come after me, but he did that with pretty much everybody that wasn’t popular. A-And there was Takada…” His voice trailed off, as he began to get lost in the memories.

“Takada?”

“She was the most popular girl in high school, and she always got the second-best scores. Lots of guys would kill to date her, but I've never paid attention to that sort of thing, I guess. Heh, even now in university they call her ‘miss To-Oh’. We’ve never really talked but…” He hesitated, and his caramel eyes looked away. “I don’t think she liked me very much.”

Light could remember it as if it was yesterday, and it made his chest tighten uncomfortably. He knew that his classmates hadn’t cared about him at best, but that was fine. If he was simply the fly on the wall and forgotten about, then he wouldn’t be bothered. He would still engage in some friendly chats with the more unpopular students, but they had always just stayed acquaintances. His tactic had worked, most of the time that is. Him being number one in class, was bound to give him a reputation. As a result, that would sometimes cause him to be… targeted.

L’s concerned expression made Light elaborate. “She was always… glaring at me, when she thought I wasn’t looking. I think she talked to her ‘circle’ too, because her friends didn’t like me either. They never even wanted anything to do with me, but none of them ‘confronted’ me or anything. But…” He subconsciously curled in on himself, resting his chin on his knees. “One time, Sudo had decided to target me for the day. I was scared, and I just… just lost all feelings in my muscles. So I couldn’t fight back or defend myself, when he pinned me against the lockers. Takada was there, you know? She saw everything, she looked right into my eyes.”

“But she didn’t do anything to help, she just _stared_ at me. She didn’t look like she cared in the slightest. It was stupid, but I thought… I thought she would. I mean, it was no secret that she hated Sudo. But she didn't even try to stop him, and just walked away. I guess she hated me more, huh?” A soft chuckle escaped the brunette's lips, but it didn’t sound happy at all.

Perhaps that was why Sudo would target him, because he knew full well that no one would do anything to stop it. Fortunately, Light didn’t really have anything to offer him, so the bully would lose interest fairly quickly. At most, he was simply someone for him to let off some steam. His tactics would also cause him to simply be forgotten about, usually for over a week at a time. The brunette hugged his legs a bit tighter, It was almost like he could still feel the bruises that had marred his skin. He could remember the murmuring, the gossip that he had cheated somehow, or that his father had paid the school to let him have the highest scores.

“Maybe I deserved it.” He murmured to himself.

Light sucked in a breath, when he realized just what he had told L. God, what was he _thinking?_ He never told anyone about Sudo, not even Sayu. He just didn’t want anyone to worry about him, it wasn't even that big of a deal. He bullied lots of people, it was what he was notorious for, after all. The brunette would have to be a fool, to think that he would be treated any different. Sure, Sudo stayed away from Takada and her friends, but they were _untouchable_. They weren't the black sheep of the school like he was, they weren’t doubted in their abilities.

“No, don’t say that.” Light snapped his head towards L in surprise, and his eyes widened. The detective’s hands were grasping his knees in a vice grip, clasping them so tightly that his pale knuckles trembled. “That will never be true, you _never_ deserved to be hurt.”

<0>

Hearing the second Kira’s voice was haunting. The brunette wasn’t surprised to hear it, of course. At this point, not receiving a reply would be more discomforting. If the killer didn’t, then they wouldn’t know just what he or she was planning. L’s eyes were narrowed in concentration, with his thumb pressed against his purse lips. Oddly enough, the message was relatively short this time. As if the second Kira was… in a hurry? He didn’t like the sense of foreboding he got from that, was the killer planning a meeting?

Well, at the very least the copycat promised to follow ‘Kira’s’ orders. So maybe they could lure the killer into a trap, and capture them. That is, if the first Kira didn’t get to his fake, first. If the murderers managed to meet, the brunette didn’t want to think of the possible consequences. It would be okay though, he tried to reassure himself. He had L! The detective wouldn’t let Kira kill him, if out of spite more than anything else. The second Kira also seemed much for careless than their first counterpart, perhaps even much less intelligent.

“I really want to meet you! I don't think you have the eyes, but you don't have to worry.” The unsettling sound of the synthesizer echoed throughout the room, and he heard a sharp intake of breath. “I will never try to kill you; that's a promise.”

Light glanced down at L, and his eyes widened. The detective’s body was tense, and his charcoal eyes were wide open with fear. He almost seemed to be unaware of the rest of them, as his shaky breaths trembled out of his lips. It was so unlike him, that it caught Light a bit off guard. What could have frightened him so much? The brunette frowned in concern, taking note of how still L was. He slightly leaned down so he was more on the detective’s level, lightly gripping the side of the chair.

“Ryuzaki…?” He asked softly.

The other members of the task force didn’t seem to notice his frightened state, talking among themselves. He could hear his father’s firm voice speak to Matsuda, and he couldn’t help but feel a bit of longing. How long had it been since they had talked, when he wasn’t as bad, and Soichiro could bring himself to speak level with him? Light’s eyes briefly glanced over to his father, and he could see that Soichiro’s eyes were hard, focused. Yet they still held a warmness that he never saw when Soichiro was talking to him; the brunette just swallowed a little, turning back to L.

“What's this ‘having the eyes’ supposed to mean?” He heard Aizawa muse. “Is it a code?”

They continued to talk, but Light didn’t focus on it. L still wasn’t answering him, which made him worried. The brunette didn’t know if he was overreacting, but he didn’t like seeing the detective like this. It made his chest curl uncomfortably, and made him feel the oddest compulsion. He just wanted to hold him close, and- Light paused in that train of thought; where had _that_ come from? The brunette felt an embarrassed blush dust against his cheeks, and he fought the urge to hide his face in his hands.

“Please, tell me how I can meet you without the police knowing. You'll think of something, and when we meet we can confirm our identities by showing our Shinigami to each other.” The second Kira continued.

He sucked in a breath of shock, eyes widened. His voice along with the Task Force's echoed throughout the room. “Shinigami?!”

Light’s heart was pounding, as he stared in disbelief at the TV. ‘Shinigami’?! What did that mean, could it have been some sort of code word? There was no way that god’s of death really existed, right? He had never considered himself religious by any means, so he never believed in that kind of thing. Of course, he considered the possibility of it… No, it was impossible! Of course they didn’t exist! Yet no matter how much he tried to calm it, his heart just wouldn't stop pounding. His caramel eyes left the screen, and glanced down at L.

The detective didn’t scream; he didn’t even make a sound. He just suddenly gave a harsh flinch, recoiling to the back of his chair. The force of it knocked it the side, and Light yelped. The brunette’s legs seemed to suddenly lose all feeling, and as L and his chair both tumbled to the floor, he wasn’t far behind them. He let out a soft groan, pushing himself back up. The man didn’t seem to notice that he was there, his charcoal eyes fixated on the TV in front of him. He sucked in a breath, which was uncharastically shaky.

“S-Shinigami...?” He trailed off in disbelief. “Am I supposed to believe that...that shinigami actually exist?”

No matter how much Light tried to ignore it, he was oddly aware of just how close L was. The detective’s warmth seemed to emanate from him, making the brunette’s chest feel strangely light. Was it something to do with his fall? It couldn’t have been caused by anything else, right? He bit his lip, and it was then that L noticed that the brunette was on the floor right next to him. The detective turned his head towards him, and as his breaths began to calm his soft grey eyes were filled with concern.

“Light, are you alright?” he asked.

The brunette went to touch him, but stopped himself. “Who cares how I am? Are you okay? You feel pretty hard there, did something scare you? Did-”

He was cut off when L gently placed his hands on his shoulders. “Of course I care if you’re okay, Light.”

“I’m... I’m okay.” He managed to reply, blushing.

“Good.”

The detective got up from the floor, before looking back down at him. He reached out a pale hand, making Light’s eyes widen a bit. The brunette snapped out of it, grabbing it and pushing himself off the floor. Yet as soon as his hand made contact with his, it felt so oddly warm that it was almost as if fire was spreading across his skin. Light’s breath slightly hitched, but L didn’t seem to notice this as he pulled him up. Once he was standing, the brunette held his hand to his chest, rubbing it with his thumb. His heart was pounding, almost like a fluttering bird was inside his rib cage. Light’s face was flushed, as he watched the detective move away from him. As stupid as if may have been, he couldn’t help but miss and long for that warmth.

<0>

Light sucked in a breath, willing himself to calm a bit. The air was cool and pleasant, and there was a constant roar from the crowd of people. The brunette tried his best to follow Naomi as closely as he could, but it was hard from the bustling of people. Thankfully she was walking relatively slow for him, which he was grateful for. Aoyama was a pretty busy place, but then again so was a good chunk of Japan. It wasn’t the first time he had been there either, Sayu happened to be a pretty big fan of this place. So when she went here, he usually ended up coming with. Sometimes she would have her friends along with her too, which was… an experience to say the least.

Matsuda was in Shibuya at the moment, and frankly Light was surprised that L was okay with him being on his own. It wasn’t like the brunette thought the young detective was incompetent or anything, after all, Soichiro clearly thought that he was much better than his son ever was. But Matsuda was, well, Matsuda. Light wouldn’t question L’s judgment on this though, the detective clearly knew what he was doing, and he had no right to argue. Funnily enough, he had been oddly insistent that the brunette be accompanied. So Naomi had offered to be the one who did, seeing as she was one of the only ones young enough to actually blend in. It couldn’t have been that L was worried about him, right? No one should ever waste their time worrying about him, he was fine. He wasn’t even worth worrying about in the first place.

Naomi led him to one of the small Cafes that were littered around the area, which looked pleasant, and wasn’t too filled up with people. Light couldn’t help but smile a bit when he saw it, maybe this meant he could relax for a bit. They had been walking for awhile now, and it was so ridiculous, but it had been becoming increasingly difficult for him. Honestly, what kind of person couldn’t walk a few _blocks?_ But as much as he tried to fight it, his fatigue had been growing progressively worse. So much so, that he was struggling to keep himself awake. Had Naomi noticed? He really hoped not.

They stepped inside, and Light drank in the atmosphere of the Cafe. Just as he suspected, it was rather nice. It was a welcomed change, from the chaotic and roaring chaos that was outside of it. There was a railing on the floor, apparently there to divide people so when it was busy, they wouldn’t all be crowded at the front counter. Naomi leaned against it, looking up at the menu in contemplation. The brunette stood next to her, quietly looking down at the floor. He tried to fight off the drowsiness, but his body began to tip as if by its own will. He grabbed onto the railing, to stop himself from falling to the floor. Light silently cursed at himself, tightening his grip on it. The agent turned to look at him, and frowned in concern.

“Hey, are you okay?” She asked.

Light smiled weakly. “I’m fine, just… had a bit of a wave for a moment.”

“If you say so…” Naomi didn’t look convinced, which made Light subconsciously shrink a little. Thankfully, she seemed to catch onto this, and changed the subject. “So what do you want to order?”

The brunette paused a bit, letting her words sink in. His chest couldn’t help but lighten a bit, and he started to reach into his pocket, before remembering that he hadn’t brought any money. Stupid! He hadn’t thought to bring any. He hadn’t thought that they would do anything more than walking around, or maybe sitting outside one of the many stores. Obviously, that was not the case. Light’s eyes couldn’t help but briefly glance up longingly at the menu, and he quickly tore them away. The brunette gave Naomi a strained smile, trying to lightheartedly laugh as he waved dismissively.

“I forgot to bring any cash, but I’ll be fine.” He said.

The former FBI agent, much to his shock, only shook her head insistently. “Oh, that’s fine! I can pay for you.”

“W-What?” Light stuttered. “No, it’s fine! You don’t have to, Maki.”

“I’m offering because I _want_ to, Light. Come on, there’s no need to be self-conscious about it. It’s obvious that you need it.” She replied, frowning.

So Naomi _had_ noticed, of course she had. Light bit his lip, looking down in embarrassment. He could almost feel the tips of his ears turn red, and that only made him even more mortified. The brunette had always felt so ashamed about asking for help; it didn’t really matter what exactly he needed help with. Anything involving his laziness, was unsurprisingly the most humiliating. He shouldn’t have _needed_ help with it. He should have been able to fix it himself, but he had barely made any progress whatsoever throughout the years. It was becoming more and more apparent that solving his problem by himself was just about impossible, and that made it so much worse.

Light just didn’t want to be a burden on anyone, no more than he already was, anyway. That’s why he was so hesitant to ask for help; he didn’t want to trouble anyone with his problems. Though, his only fatigue was growing more and more hard to deal with. So it was starting to look like the only option he had, much to his shame. Though, L had never seemed burdened by him for some reason. Naomi hadn’t seemed bothered about helping him with making the Kira speech, either. Light was just trying to understand.

“It’s…” The brunette paused, before hesitantly speaking up again. “It’s really okay…?”

Naomi’s expression was concerned. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Light’s eyes went wide, but he tried to brush it off. “N-Nothing, please don’t worry about it Maki.” He couldn’t help but genuinely smile at her. “Thank you.”

He ordered a simple coffee; he didn’t need anything fancy. Plus, one of the more savory drinks likely wouldn’t be strong enough to get him through the rest of the day. Or even the rest of his and Naomi’s little trip, for that matter. His eyes couldn’t help but glance at the pastries, that were inside their heated display case. L could have probably eaten every single one of them in less than an hour, which he noted with a hint of amusement. Light made himself tear his oddly longing eyes away from the pastries, and turned to look at Naomi. She nudged him a bit with a smile hinted with a tinge of worry, much to his surprise.

“You can order one of the pastries, if you want them Light.” She said.

A blush tinted Light’s cheeks. “Thank you, Maki.”

The brunette wasn’t sure what to order, so he ended up getting one of the cinnamon rolls. The warmth of it, and the coffee that he held in his other hand, seeped into his fingers. He couldn’t help but look down at the sweet pastry a bit hungrily, uncharacteristically impatient to eat it. He supposed that it had been awhile since he last ate, and as he mulled over this, he paused. When was the last time he _had_ eaten? Sayu had made him eat the ramen two days before, and the day after that, he had managed to bring himself to eat an apple, with some other bits of fruit and chips throughout the rest of the day. Light swallowed a bit, because he knew that it wasn’t normal.

Yet no matter how much he tried, the gnawing feeling of hunger never came. The brunette had been trying to fight it even harder now, because he didn’t want Sayu to worry. So he forced himself to eat at least a little bit, but after a certain point had to stop due to the fact that his stomach felt like it wanted to get rid of everything he had just eaten. Light tried to push those thoughts aside, as he and Naomi sat down at one of the tables. The brunette unwrapped the wax paper from the cinnamon roll, and took a sip from his coffee. His face scrunched in displeasure, as the scorching liquid nearly assaulted his mouth.

He set it down. _Way too hot._

“So when do you think Ryuga’s going to call us back in?” He asked, trying to wipe the heat off of his mouth.

“Honestly? I’m not sure, although we have been here for awhile, so it shouldn’t be long.” An oddly pleased glimmer entered Naomi’s eye. “Ryuga is very protective of you.”

Light choked a bit at that, stammering out. “W-What?”

“Haven’t you noticed? He was so worried; he barely let you leave his sight.” Naomi replied, unable to hide her smile.

The brunette could feel the blush forming across his cheeks, and he tried to hide it behind his coffee. The thought of L being _protective_ of him was hard to grasp, but the signs had always been there hadn’t they? Even from the very beginning, the detective had always been so attentive to how he was feeling, always making sure that he was okay. Light hadn’t really considered that L could have possibly been protective of him before; he hadn’t thought it was a possibility. Yet over the past few days, he couldn’t help but have doubts. As almost unbelievable as it was, L did seem to care about him. Maybe he didn’t deserve it, maybe it was selfish, but it was… nice. So nice. To just have that comfort, to have someone tell him that everything was going to be okay.

“I… have noticed, yeah.” Light’s face turned even redder, and he tried to make it fade by taking a sip of his coffee. “Ryuga even made me stay with him last night, he was worried about me leaving when it was so dark out.”

“Couldn’t you have left with your father?” Naomi frowned a bit.

The brunette’s face paled. “W-Well it was really late, so dad, um…” He paused, and then just looked down, gripping his cup noticeably tighter. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

The agent’s expression turned a little concerned, but she seemed to realize that it was a sore topic. “Okay.”

An awkward silence fell between the two, and he couldn’t help but shift a little. Light tried his best to ignore it, tearing off pieces of the cinnamon roll and popping them into his mouth. The brunette was a bit taken aback by how much he enjoyed the flavor, the warmth making the pastry practically melt in his mouth. He gave a pleased hum, enjoying it even though he felt full already. Yet it wasn’t enough to distract him from the almost suffocating silence, and he swallowed down the food uncomfortably. Naomi seemed to be as desperate to break it as he was, and just smiled a bit.

“So, what do you think of Ryuga?” She asked.

Light’s face flushed red. “U-Um he’s very smart, obviously. He’s just so talented at what he does; I respect him a lot. It was so nice of him to let me work on the case, I- I guess I just never really understood what he saw in me. He’s always so nice to me, too. He always asks me how I’m doing, always offers to help… He’s really sweet once you get to know him, even though he tries to act all tough. And he’s just so nice to me, and-” He paused when he noticed the odd smile on Naomi’s face, that she was trying to hide behind her hands. “What?”

The agent tried to shake her head, but couldn’t wipe the grin off her face. “Nothing.”

Somehow, the brunette seriously doubted that. He took a sip of his coffee, looking at her in suspicion. Just what was she thinking? Did she know something that he didn’t? He frowned a bit, he was a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. Light was onto her games, and he would find out what was making her smile at him with such a devious expression. Light set down the cup with a determined resolve, leaning onto the table and resting his chin on his hands. The brunette smiled a bit, taking on a bit of a devious expression himself.

“And how do _you_ know Ryuga? Didn’t you two work together before?” He asked.

Naomi perked up a bit. “We did! It was out in LA, and was… the hardest case I ever had to work on.”

“What made it so hard?” Light tilted his head a bit.

“It was a murder case, and the person who turned out to be the murderer was a complete lunatic. The way his victims died… it was awful. Back then I was young, and thought I was untouchable. That case got rid of that really quickly; I became so much more jumpy. Once time, for one reason or another, Ryuga tried to hug me and…” The agent blushed in embarrassment. “I kicked him down the stairs.”

The brunette choked a little. “You _what?_ ”

“I thought he was assaulting me at first, but it was just as ridiculous as it sounds. He was completely fine, if not a little dazed.” She laughed.

He tried to picture it in his head, and it seemed almost impossible. Since when did L _hug_ people? Even when the detective was being more affectionate with him, his touches had always been gentle and almost hesitant. He had never even come close to hugging Light, maybe because he was unsure of how the brunette would react to it. If the detective ever did, he would be _very_ surprised. Yet, as ridiculous as the prospect seemed, a blush couldn’t help but brush across his cheeks. He wouldn’t mind it at all, in fact the thought of l holding him was… nice. Light jumped a little when the phone suddenly vibrated, and he sheepishly smiled at Naomi before grabbing it. There was a message from an unknown number, L, of course.

The message was brief. _You have finished your assignment, come back to headquarters as soon as you can._

Light looked up; Naomi had apparently gotten the same message. It wasn’t very surprising, if not a bit excessive. Well, it was L’s thoroughness that had probably gotten him this far. So the brunette couldn’t really blame him. His caramel eyes glanced over to the pastries on display, and a small grin grew on his face as he turned back to his phone.

 _There are a lot of pastries at the cafe me and Maki are at right now, want any?_ He texted.

There was a pause, before L sent a text back. _...What do they have?_

 _Cupcakes, cookies, doughnuts..._ Light hesitated a bit, before adding. _Their cinnamon rolls are amazing._

 _One of each, please_. The detective replied.

A giggle couldn’t help but escape his lips, and Naomi peered over curiously at him. “What did he say?”

The brunette pushed himself up, sighing off his chuckles. “Ryuga wants one of every pastry this place has.”

“Oh, of course he does, and he’s going to make me pay for it too, isn’t he?” The agent groaned.

Light just sheepishly smiled at her, watching as she went to the front counter. Her annoyance was clearly exaggerated, as soon as she reached it, it seemed to mysteriously disappear. He just shook his head a bit, turning back to the table. The brunette picked up his nearly empty coffee cup, and when he picked up his cinnamon roll, he couldn’t help but let out a tired sigh. He had only eaten half of it, but he was so full already. He really should have eaten more, but his stomach was clenching just at the thought. He just wished he knew what was causing this. He didn’t like to complain, but ignoring this sudden lack of appetite was only going to create more problems.

Light glanced over to Naomi to make sure that she wasn’t looking, before putting both his coffee and the pastry in the trash. The brunette didn’t want to be seen as rude by her, he was already ashamed that he didn’t manage to finish it as it is. Besides, he didn’t want her to question him about it. He had caused this mess, somehow. So he was going to be the one to solve it. Light sighed a little, but forced himself to smile as he walked over to Naomi. The barista looked visibly shocked and a bit concerned as she handed the back over to the agent, but Naomi didn’t react to it, only politely thanking her.

She smiled back at Light. “Ready to head out?”

“Yeah.” He replied simply.

The brunette made sure to hold the door open for her, it would be disgraceful to not be polite after all. At this point he was just happy that she hadn’t seemed to notice his tenseness, back in the cafe. The duo tried to worm their way into the crowd, but it wasn’t easy. This was the reason Light hated going to busy places like this in the afternoon, the flood of people was simply too overwhelming. If the fatigue took over him here, and his legs suddenly stopped working, or he went unconscious completely, the danger of being in such a crowded place would soon be realized. Light subconsciously got close to Naomi, starting to hold onto her arm. He snapped out of it when he saw her frowning at him, quickly letting go of her and blushing in mortification.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry!” He apologized profusely. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to!”

The agent gave a calming usher with her hands, before gently placing them on his shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. If you don't like crowds, I’m fine with you-”

She was cut off, when someone suddenly bumped into Light. The brunette yelped, not expecting it. His legs gave out from the shock, and Naomi rushed to grab him before he hit the hard concrete. Light could only stare at the one who had knocked into him, eyes wide in shock. The person was a schoolgirl, or at least it appeared that way. She was wearing a school uniform, and her hair was cut to a cute bob, but the brunette could tell that something was off. The girl seemed older, more mature than any high school student.

Light didn’t get a good look at her though, as she hurried away with a “Sorry!”. He struggled to gain feeling back in his legs, trying desperately to get them to obey him. Something about that girl was terribly, terribly wrong. As if he had never lost the ability, suddenly, he could move again. He wriggled out of Naomi’s hold, stumbling forward and nearly falling again. Light’s eyes desperately searched the crowd to try and find her, but she had disappeared into the mass of people. Perhaps he was just being paranoid, but he could have sworn that when she had bumped into him her hair had shifted, as if it was a wig, revealing blond locks underneath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am SO SORRY that it took so long for me to update. I was really busy with school, because like an idiot I took creative, writing, so all of my free time had to be spent writing poems and shit, it sucked. I hoped you liked this chapter, updates should faster now! :) I tried to make it up to you by making this chapter a bit longer. Thank you so much for being patient with me, I hoped this quelled your fears of me giving up on this story.
> 
> Also, over 100 bookmarks! Holy crap, thank you so much!


	10. Update (Not a chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't a chapter, so if you're not interested in hearing me ramble, this is your chance to turn back.

Hello everyone!

I know what you're thinking, "Nocturne, it's been half a year! Where's the next chapter?" I have an explanation, I guess I'm just sorry I didn't post this sooner. Now, to just make this clear, I have no plan of abandoning this story. It's my baby, pretty much. This story is what really got me enthralled in the Death Note fandom, and made me grow as a content creator. Now, as for when the chapter is going up, I have no idea. 

The truth is, I haven't updated because I've been suffering from severe depression for over a year now. It got to a point where I couldn't control it, this story that I loved, I just couldn't bring myself to write it. It wasn't _fun_ anymore, nothing was. I could barely find a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and my suicidal thoughts were getting harder and harder to deal with. I came to a hard realization, I couldn't deal with trying to recover from my depression, and deal with this bulk of a story, with so many expectations backing it. It was being a detriment to my mental health, and I had to take a break. Of course, I still love this stupid fanfic with all my heart, but I'm just not at a point where I can finish it right now. When I'm in a better place, I will finish the chapter, just not now. 

thank you all for your lovely comments, your support helps more than you can imagine. 

~NP 


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